Thursday, June 16, 2011


It can certainly be a difficult journey recovering from miscarriage.  Things have gotten worse over the last 24 hours with severe stabbing abdominal pains, dizziness and nausea.  It has all calmed down today for the most part, but understandably, I am completely exhausted. 

I went to work yesterday, which I don’t regret doing, but it was a very difficult day to get through and may have made things a bit worse.  The doctor gave me a major serve this morning for going to work and has ordered me not to do anything for the next few days.  She said it was way too soon to have done so, both physically and emotionally.  So, I am home for the next few days (minus the two hours at work tomorrow which I will still do.  Just two hours and then no explanation is needed to be given to that school.)

D is worried about me and he ordered me not to go to work today before the doctor did.  So, I think I have been told!

I have another blood test tomorrow to make sure my hormone levels are coming down as they should.  If they haven’t, I will need to have another ultra sound.  But I suspect they will have.  And after looking at all my test results, the doctor doesn’t believe there will be any complications.  So, thats good.

She said that the physical discomfort and bleeding may last up to two weeks.  She didn’t come up with a specific explanation for the stabbing pains but it makes sense to me that they were caused by my cervix shrinking back to it’s pre-pregnancy state.  They were quite different to the miscarriage cramping.

She has told us to wait a cycle before starting to try again to allow my body to right itself.  I need that just as much because of the emotional healing as for the physical.  But I will get there – in time.  And she suggested we leave it for a few months before going back to the IVF program.  Besides we might just get pregnant on our own again!


  1. dearest Annie ... I am so very sorry! Life is not easy sometimes is it. My thoughts are with both of you. Take your time to heal and be well ... love and light, Donna xx

  2. Thank you, Donna. Your support is much appreciated. Taking time to heal is always difficult in todays world and i always find that I feel guilty about it. But this is a big one, and has the doctor said, if there is ever a time to be selfish, this is it.
    Much love to you...

  3. There is so much I wish I could tell you. After losing my son very late in pregnancy and having a miscarriage in the same year my heart felt like it would never heal, I felt no one could ever understand the pain of losing my precious babies. One year ago if someone told me a year later that I would be close to giving birth I would have laughed in their face, but I am and you will be in prayers everyday asking for the same blessing.

  4. Thank you Bonnie for your words of hope. That means a lot. Nice to meet you!

  5. Dear sis, I am here through Chasing Rainbow. I feel so sorry for you. I know you are going through a dreadful situation. I hope Almighty God will definitely bless you, again.

    Hope and belief in God are things keep us alive and energetic- that gives us strength to come forward in difficult situations! Trust on HIM, He shall be with you! That's all I can say dear sis!

    I know that the words of solace will not erase pain of loss, but I am sure it will help you light up your hopes again!

  6. Hi Annie,

    I ahve follwed you from the start. I have been trying for 2 years aswell. You gave me encouragement that after 2 years you concieved naturally. And that is something you MUST hold onto.

    I lost at a very early stage 5 weeks....I was 7 weeks, and told by doc that he suspected a pg when the follwing week he told me. So for 6 weeks I believed I was prenent, when I lost it 4 weeks prior.
    I know the anger you feel...I felt It I was angry that Allah gave me this just to take it away. But I know that it was not meant to be. The baby would not of survived. That was my first clomid round. I tried one more time, and then stopped all treatment. But I have never given up, and you should n't either.

  7. I'm so sorry. I was away from the internet for a few days and was catching up on things when I saw your posts. Believe me, I know what you're going through as I've had two miscarriages myself. But, it is a good sign that you got pregnant naturally. So hang in there. A good friend of mine had the same thing happen to her and a few months later she was pregnant again and carried to term. I don't remember if you mentioned this, but have you had your thyroid levels tested? If not, it might be worth doing.

    Hang in there. Try to think positive thoughts and don't give up.

  8. Dearest Annie, it all feels so surreal.

    I can imagine the range of emotions you feel, that probably change several times a day. I am sad and at a loss for words. The mysteries of life can cause such pain. But it also produces joy, something that I hope and pray that you will feel again because of another new life growing within you.

    I'm happy that you and D were able to feel and experience love for your little angel baby, however short a time it was.

    Take care of your mind and body as you grieve your loss.

    Hugs and Blessings.

  9. I am so sorry for your loss, but know you are held dear by your family and friends around you to support you in these times. Your friend at Chasing Rainbows shared your story with kindness and love and I'm here to add my prayers. I am inspired by your positive attitude and know that you will continue on. Thank you for sharing with us and ask us to be the support you need.

  10. Oh my goodness. I am a little overwhelmed by everyones kinds words and support. It makes such a difference to me. Thank you all so much!

  11. I think one of the hardest things is to just slow down and do nothing for a period of time when you're so used to running around doing it all. I'm in that same place now too. I'm sorry beyond words for your loss but I know that you have tremendous faith in having a baby and that faith will get you there. Relax, let go and prepare yourselves for starting again :)

  12. Thank you Jane for all your kind words and support. I'm not in much of a mood for responding to all your comments individually. But I do want you to know how much I appreciate your friendship and support.
    Much love to you.

  13. Annie, I'm so sorry! If you ever need to talk. Please email me. I will do what I can to help you over come the hard-ache. Allah give you better. you are in my duas...