Yesterday was transfer day and everything went well!
My feelings of non-chalance went through a few different phases as they day drew closer. But nothing really stuck. Some nerves set in at one point. There were feelings of anticipation. But even on the day, I just went about my day as normal. Although the comment from one of my students was interesting...
The transfer wasn't till midday, so I popped into school to do a few catch up lessons. My first student said "You are in a good mood today!" and she only saw me the day before. She was right, I was feeling really good. Whether it was the fantastic swim I had after school the day before or the fact that Nemo was coming home, who knows.
The thought "Nemo is coming home today!" popped into my head as I was driving to school. Something shifted in me then. Maybe that was what changed my mood as well!!
When I told Dave, he said that one of his customers referenced "Finding Nemo" in a phone call the day before. Freaky!
So, we arrived at the hospital and went into the room with the embryologist and our OB. All I wanted to know was "Did Nemo thaw?" There was a 10% chance that our embryo wouldn't make it through the thawing process. I was so expecting that to be the case. Just our luck, you know?! Beat the odds again. But not only did it thaw, it was flourishing. Both women were really happy with how it was plumping up and progressing. "Oh thank goodness!"
"Would you like to see it?", they asked. "Yes Please!", we said. And there it was - our beautiful embryo on the screen. I felt such a rush of excitement and love - for a second - and then my defenses kicked in and I found myself pushing down that excitement in fear of what might happen. Then that emotion shifted again, to one of going through the motions of the procedure with complete acceptance of the situation. I think it is a good place to be.
However...........
When we walked out of the hospital doors, everything shifted again! I had gone from not wanting to be pregnant again, to suddenly having our live and healthy Nemo inside me. I felt like precious cargo and I SO SO SO SO SO want to pregnant again. All of a sudden, I'm not frightened of it anymore. All of a sudden, I'm excited.
Now, just one day later, I am talking to Nemo already. I'm trying to listen to what it needs - or more precisely I suppose - what my body needs for Nemo to flourish. I just like to think of it as Nemo talking back to me.
Now, it wouldn't have even implanted yet, but as far as I am concerned, I have a little life form living inside of me. I'm not holding my breath, I'm still feeling very relaxed with no expectations of achieving pregnancy or going full term. But there is a part of me that feels that this is different, that this one is going to work. That this is a happy and 'excited for life' embryo.
So, my job now is to live my life happy and peaceful. To go about my days, content in my activites, feeling a sense of accomplishment in my tasks and to also be careful about what I do and how much I do. To be happy being less active and enjoying a 'holiday' from the busyness of life and the hard work of the heavy physical jobs that I love doing. I will be content swimming more casually and no longer doing fast sprints and hard laps. I will be content walking on the flat surfaces and not traipsing up and down all the hills!
I've been calling this round, IVF round 5. But really, it is just finishing round 2. Nemo is from my round 2 collection. I had the polyp removed and wasn't able to do the transfer and Nemo, our one and only embryo from that round, was frozen. The positive thing here, is that Nemo is younger than our last embryo and may be less damaged. It was conceived a year ago! Fingers crossed that works in our favour!
Love and Light
xxx
Showing posts with label Polyp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Polyp. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Monday, November 12, 2012
IVF round two
Round Two was a long time ago now. Back in August I think. Once again there were complications.
After my first scan to check the progress of the follicular growth, it was discovered that I had a polyp on my uterine wall. The clinic sent me off for a 3D scan to get a good look at it.
The waiting room for the 3D scan was filled with pregnant women with their young children running around their feet. They were there to get a look at their new growing child. I was there from complications with just trying to get one. But the scan staff were fantastic, kind and caring and the experience went off without a hitch.
The polyp was confirmed and that meant that during my harvest surgery, they would remove it. It also meant that any embryos would need to be frozen because they wouldn't be able to be put transfer them after the surgery to remove the polyp.
The surgery turned out to be a little more complicated, because the polyp was embedded in the uterine wall. Rather than tying it off and removing it, they had to cut into the wall and dig it out. Yuck!!!
And also my ovaries had decided to hide away and they had to push and prod them into place to get out the follicles. Unfortunately, they weren't able to get them all.
We only got 6 eggs that round. I think five of them fertilised, but only one grew to a size that was valid. However, that one was a much better quality than the one we got last time. So, it was frozen and is waiting for us to implant.
Our Round Three was going to just be a harvest. We were going to freeze any embryos we got rather than implanting straight away. The reasons were multiple.
One, there is quite an argument now about whether it is better to freeze and implant into a natural cycle or put the fresh embryos into a stimulated cycle. Many clinics are now exclusively doing the freeze and implant later.
Second, I was really keen to do a harvest and freeze before we left for our honeymoon. Every month that passes, is a month more aging of my eggs. I so wanted to get some more and not let two more months pass. So, that is another thing so dissappointing about our round three. We weren't able to get any embryos.
My OB is on the fence with regards to natural versus frozen transfer. However, with the other circumstances going on for us right now that would cause emotional stress which is not good for the success of a round, she agreed that it was best to freeze and implant in January. With that not happening due to the complications of round three, we will probably do a full round including fresh transfer in January, rather than freeze.
Now, I am concerned about the timing of round 4. It all depends on when my next period occurs. They have predicted 10 - 14 days after the trigger injection. Which means I could start my period after that during the Christmas/New Year week when they are closed. That would just suck. So when I go for my blood tests on Friday, I will talk them about all of that. We still have the drugs, so it is possible we will be able to start ourselves for the first few days and see them straight away in the the New Year. Or maybe we will just conceive naturally on our honeymoon cruise to New Zealand!!! Now that would be awesome!! And the timing could be right!
January will be a great month for me to do a round. It will be the summer holidays, I will be totally relaxed and refreshed from our cruise and I will be stress free with no work until February. Keep your fingers crossed that it all works out.
After my first scan to check the progress of the follicular growth, it was discovered that I had a polyp on my uterine wall. The clinic sent me off for a 3D scan to get a good look at it.
The waiting room for the 3D scan was filled with pregnant women with their young children running around their feet. They were there to get a look at their new growing child. I was there from complications with just trying to get one. But the scan staff were fantastic, kind and caring and the experience went off without a hitch.
The polyp was confirmed and that meant that during my harvest surgery, they would remove it. It also meant that any embryos would need to be frozen because they wouldn't be able to be put transfer them after the surgery to remove the polyp.
The surgery turned out to be a little more complicated, because the polyp was embedded in the uterine wall. Rather than tying it off and removing it, they had to cut into the wall and dig it out. Yuck!!!
And also my ovaries had decided to hide away and they had to push and prod them into place to get out the follicles. Unfortunately, they weren't able to get them all.
We only got 6 eggs that round. I think five of them fertilised, but only one grew to a size that was valid. However, that one was a much better quality than the one we got last time. So, it was frozen and is waiting for us to implant.
Our Round Three was going to just be a harvest. We were going to freeze any embryos we got rather than implanting straight away. The reasons were multiple.
One, there is quite an argument now about whether it is better to freeze and implant into a natural cycle or put the fresh embryos into a stimulated cycle. Many clinics are now exclusively doing the freeze and implant later.
Second, I was really keen to do a harvest and freeze before we left for our honeymoon. Every month that passes, is a month more aging of my eggs. I so wanted to get some more and not let two more months pass. So, that is another thing so dissappointing about our round three. We weren't able to get any embryos.
My OB is on the fence with regards to natural versus frozen transfer. However, with the other circumstances going on for us right now that would cause emotional stress which is not good for the success of a round, she agreed that it was best to freeze and implant in January. With that not happening due to the complications of round three, we will probably do a full round including fresh transfer in January, rather than freeze.
Now, I am concerned about the timing of round 4. It all depends on when my next period occurs. They have predicted 10 - 14 days after the trigger injection. Which means I could start my period after that during the Christmas/New Year week when they are closed. That would just suck. So when I go for my blood tests on Friday, I will talk them about all of that. We still have the drugs, so it is possible we will be able to start ourselves for the first few days and see them straight away in the the New Year. Or maybe we will just conceive naturally on our honeymoon cruise to New Zealand!!! Now that would be awesome!! And the timing could be right!
January will be a great month for me to do a round. It will be the summer holidays, I will be totally relaxed and refreshed from our cruise and I will be stress free with no work until February. Keep your fingers crossed that it all works out.
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