Making room for bubs (and updating!)

 

Hi all!  Sorry I haven't been around much or kept up blogging - both posting and commenting.  There just doesn't seemed to have been time in my head for it!  But I have really appreciated the comments I have received and have enjoyed quick catch ups on your blogs to see how things are going for you.

One of the reasons that there has been no time, is that we have been tackling some major projects around the home - clutter clearing, organising, building, gardening - all outdoor projects which is an area we haven't tackled since D moved in.  See my other blog - Creating Peaceful Thoughts- for all the details!

The clutter clearing and building in particular, held a lot of significance for me in regards to our conception journey, because I saw it as clearing away lots of rubbish in order to make room for bringing a new life into our home and lives.  And the building of a work area in the carport was like adding a new room to our home and saw us becoming more efficient both inside and outside the home with more clutter clearing, organising and creating of space.

The process is continuing with much more still to do.  And each step forward always signifies to me, more space in our lives for bubs to come in.

That was one of the really positive things that has happened and is still happening!

This, plus so many other little signs last cycle though, made me really hopeful about a positive result.  I was sure that we were finally going to conceive.  So, when my new cycle began, I was so upset.  It was the first time I have really truly cried over a new cycle.  And it occurred just as we were about to go away for the weekend and with visitors!  Oh dear.  Somehow, with D's help and support, I managed to get through that little episode secretly with our visitors none the wiser, and a wonderful weekend away!

However, the positive thing in this new cycle is that the length was back down to 30 days.  I haven't had a 30 day cycle since before we started trying a year and a half ago.  It always takes around 3 months for new naturopathic meds to really kick into the system and it has now been that long since Queen Naturo put me on new hormones. 

I truly believe that my system is balanced so much better and more ready to conceive - a 30 day cycle is awesome for me.  A few weeks ago I was all ready to go see my other naturopath for a second opinion (who I haven't seen at all since the journey began), but this has brought my belief back again to the awesome duo that I have my faith in.

It also means that I once again, have such hopes for this cycle.  A blessing and a curse all at once!!

More updates:

**  King Acupunc has become more gungho about getting us pregnant after going to yet another fertility workshop.  He came away equipped with more ideas, more specific points to needle me, and with lots of charts for me to fill in!  I appreciate this passion he has to ensure results and hope it works!

**  Mr. Ayuveda is continuing to help me, this time working with my own feelings and instincts on what is going on for me.  Every now and then I turn up at his door with such a clear image on what is wrong and when it is that strong he is able to get a clearer picture himself on what is needed.

This week was all about helping my soul to find my body.  I have been feeling so strongly that I am living outside of my body, up in my head.  And I think it has been this way for a long time, which is a big reason for my struggles with weight and food addiction.  Before I saw him, I managed for split seconds every now and then to be able to become grounded in myself.  And every time I did, for that split second, the food cravings would disappear completely.

Now, after his session, I am able to ground myself and feel centered for longer periods, which is really helping with healthy eating and feeling more peaceful.  Which in turn, will help us conceive, I'm sure!

The wait is over

Well, the two week wait is over and the test was negative.  Four days later my new cycle started.  I couldn't wait for it to begin, so I could enjoy a glass of wine!  I still wasn't going to drink just in case the test was wrong.  But Wednesday came and Wednesday night the sound of a bottle cracking open was enjoyed by my ears for the first time in over a month!

I was feeling hopeful about this cycle for a few days.  I went to my weekly acupuncture appointment and when he felt my pulse he said there was something different about it.  Apparently, a pre-menstrual pulse feels different to a conceived pulse, and mine felt different than usual to him.  He wasn't committing to anything of course, but he told me to wait a couple of days and then do a test.  Which is what I did.  Lucky he didn't commit to anything!!

 

 

On Wednesday, I also had my appointment with my ayuvedic masseuse.  It was another good appointment.  A lot of what he did last time had held in my body and he was really pleased especially to see that my hips had stayed open and I was laying flat on the table, not slightly out of alignment.  This is an important one for fertility so I was really pleased to have maintained that. 

My energy had also stayed in alignment and my balance was good.  As a result, he was able to look further into my body.  According to him, my uterus was inflamed so he  worked on that.  I did ask him how much that could be because I was on Day 1.  And while that does affect it, it was not the sole reason.

He doesn't think I am far off being able to conceive.  I see him again in a month.  Every little bit helps.  But I am hoping that his work with him will make a big difference.

I go for acupuncture again today plus a painful massage treatment!  I put my back out last week, so I made the appointment longer to get some treatment on it.  It feels almost better now so this last treatment should do the trick!

Of course I am disappointed to be starting another cycle but it just seems to be part of the course of life now and I'm moving on.  Had we conceived this time though, we would have been able to announce our pregnancy at our engagement party in 2 months time!  That would have been fun!  Nevermind.  On to the next!

Ayuveda

One week ago I went to see my ayuveda masseur.  The man is a god-send! 

I made the appointment a couple of months (he is hard to get into!) knowing that I needed an energy balancing.  Things weren't right and in the past he has been able to balance my energy beautifully.  

It was a great session.  Apparently my physical energy was going in a completely different direction to my spiritual energy.  No wonder I have felt so out of sorts and unbalanced.  The next day I was feeling much better -  more peaceful and centred and calmer.  And best of all, my addictive thinking had gone.  I can't even begin to describe how bad things have been in that regards over the last few months.  It's been out of control and making me utterly miserable for my complete lack of ability to do anything about it.  But two weeks ago I did.  I went to the one man who I know helps me.

He also worked on my fertility, clearing away a blockage and opening up hips.  Apparently my hips have been rolling inward which puts pressure on the ovaries.  He gave me an exercise to keep my hips open and rolled out to where they should be, which D has to help me with.

I see him again in a month to see how things are going.

The last week has been crazy with State Music Camp.  It's in the school holidays and involves me getting to work earlier, getting up earlier and driving further everyday.  That plus D also having an unusually busy week, we haven't done the exercise and I am starting to feel myself backsliding.  I've mentioned it to D and we are going to set up the massage table tonight so we can do it.  I'm looking forward to seeing if that shifts things back again.

I'm still amazed at the session and his ability to pinpoint the exact things that I needed.  It was exactly the session I was hoping it would be!  I'm looking forward to seeing the results and I'm looking forward to my appointment next month!

On the up.

I'm starting along the upward path now.  The sense of loss has mostly gone and I'm heading back to my normal self. 

Just in time for D too, because his chronic fatigue has been building the last couple of days and tonight he came home in a bad way.  I was so glad I had improved over the afternoon and had tidied the house, washed the dishes, put through and hung up 5 loads of laundry and had started the dinner.  It makes such a difference to him when he can come home and feel a sense of being looked after with things under control at home.  He was able to have a sleep for 30 minutes and then have dinner.  He is already feeling better and it's good to see.

I've made an appointment with both Queen Naturo and King Acupunc for next week - back to back!

I also have an appointment with my ayuvedic man.  Coincidence that it is next week.   He is hard to get into and I made the appointment weeks ago!  But I've been thinking that perhaps that might be a way to go for a while.  He also has a good reputation with fertility.  We'll see.

Anyway, I am grateful I am feeling better.  Once again, thank you so much everyone for all your support.  I am sorry I haven't been able to reply individually or to head over to your sites and provide my support to you.  But I will asap.  It is a wonderful network we have with our blogs and I am grateful for it.