Exercise restrictions

One of the things that I LOVE to do is re-arranging and re-decorating our home. Ever since I was big enough to move things around, I have done this - starting with my childhood bedroom!

When D moved in, we combined two households of furniture into one. Despite culling and storing, as you can imagine, the house became VERY full!

So, my love of re-arranging has been restrained. Furniture is bigger and heavier, there is less space and the possibilities are very limited. However, finally this week, after several weeks of it building, I finally came up with a plan. The place looks great! It's more open and fresher. Cleaner and tidier.

But there was a hiccup! I believe I have torn the ligaments in my right knee. The difficulties arising from this and attempting to become pregnant are not good. It could take months to get into surgery to have it fixed and if I am then pregnant, it won't be possible. Which means going through my pregnancy with a bung knee.



And then of course, exercise is problematic which is a problem for my fitness level in coping with the pregnancy. I haven't really got into a good and regular routine and am desperate to do so. But my usual exercise - Walking and Curves - are not possible right now. However, water exercise could solve the problem. But I don't like going to the public pool! Guess I will just have to suck it up!

The funny thing is though, that I am not irritated or angry or upset at having done this to my knee. Aside from the above concerns, there are no negative emotions AT ALL. I find myself going with the flow and accepting of it all.

It seems a strange reaction, yet there is absolutely no other feelings but these. I am not upset about it. And while I really want to get my fitness back to its normal level, I find myself not worried at all about not being able to go to Curves.

I feel a sense of relief. A sense of destiny.

Now I can slowly, in my own pace, with no pressure of 3x a week getting to the gym, get back into my love of walking. I mean, I love Curves and want to continue with it later down the track, but for some reason, I feel as though I have let go of a burden.

And then I came across this article from the Infertility-Fertility blog on stress and exercise. Here is a quote...

We saw that if you are stressed when you start exercise, your body reacts differently than if you are not chronically stressed and exercise. Not only does it appear that exercise was more stressful for already stressed women, but certainly exercise did not help them lower their stress hormones, which is of course one reason people take up exercising.

I do have a tendency to be stressed without even knowing it. When I think about it though, I know I am placing a lot of pressure on myself to be fit and healthy for bubby. And I am not being very successful, which is definitely causing me stress. Stress that is based on a life-time of stress over the same issues.

This article confirms for me that something is not right. I need to reassess. I need to do one of the most important things for me in this process - find the stress free me.

My knee injury is my sign. It is telling me to stop, to chill out. I am not upset by my knee for a reason. It is time I took a back step and relaxed with my life. I am allowed to let go of the pressure of immediate health and fitness. I am grateful for being forced to stop, for being given a reason to stop. I have been given permission to gradually find my love of walking and living a life of exercise once more.

Life is falling into place! My career.

I came across a great site yesterday "In Season Mom". I love the title referring to over 40 mums and I loved the content. I highly recommend going to visit her site and blog.

I am definitely an "In Season to be Mum"!! Life is falling in place around me to allow this to happen. The syncronicity of things is amazing!

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The biggest one is work.

I have been quite stressed by work over the last few years. It went in bursts of course, but my overall longing has been to be able to work less and be a Mum. I enjoy my work, but I haven't enjoyed SO much of it. I have known for many years that if I could just cut down on the amount, my true love of it would come back and I would perform in my job so much better. I could fully commit to the work that I had rather than having to spread myself thin.

And right from when I began working in my career, I've had the knowledge that it is perfect for motherhood. I can cut down on numbers and days as I wish, take time off for maternity leave (no pay!) and be able to return a year later with no problems. So, as I started heading into my late 30's, the desire for this change became stronger and stronger. And also the years doing the same thing started becoming stressful in itself. Yet, as a single woman living alone, there was nothing I could do about it.

But I never wanted to do anything else. I looked at it from to time to time. But mostly a change of career meant more study. After two degrees and a diploma, I didn't want to do that anymore!! And I'm good at my job!

When I met D, life changed wonderfully and quickly. We soon moved in together and, after experiencing many Mr. and Miss Wrongs, we both knew with absolute certainty how right we were for each other.

The happiness in my life increased with D. I felt so blessed. Yet the stress of my job started to increase also! The thought of my dreams coming true started to become a reality! I was enjoying life more which made working much more pleasureable as well, yet the dream was around the corner waiting for its moment in time.

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And here is where the amazing thing comes into play. Just as we started trying to have a baby and became very conscious about the need to create a stress free and healthy me, things have changed in my work timetable. Without me even doing anything!!!

Numbers always drop halfway through the year, but this year they have dropped in such a way that my timetable is wonderfully stress free! I have two full days, two half days and two hours on a Friday morning. And it has just happened that way! Of course, if this had happened when I was still single, I would probably be selling my house by now. But it didn't, it has happened now, and that says a lot!

• This means that I am able to get to the gym in the mornings without the stress of rushing off to work.
• I can come home at the end of the day and take the dog for a walk, without the stress of preparing for the next day.
  
• The exercise routine is back!!
  
• Less stress and the wonderful purpose of wanting a healthy body for my child to grow and nourish as helped me get back into good eating patterns.
  
• Health routine is back!!
  
• And D is in my life creating and sharing it all together. aahhh...

And I am relaxing. I can feel the stress slipping away from my body.
I am enjoying my work again. I am giving more to each individual person that comes in. And I am loving that!

I am so amazed at how this has happened. If there was any doubt in my mind about becoming pregnant over 40, it is all gone. This is meant to be. I am not expecting a perfect run, that would be unrealistic. But life is giving me this chance!! And I am embracing it!

I am happy in a way that I never have been before. I can't explain it really. There is joy. And I keep feeling it all through the day. It's a constant surprising thought. I am happy, wow, I am truly happy.