Tuesday, April 5, 2016

18 weeks pregnant

I sometimes think of transferring my words to a private diary.  There once was a time when I wrote not just for me, but for others who were finding support in their own journey's.  Things are different now.  I don't have the energy to devote to searching for others who are on the same path and to regularly follow blogs.  It's all I can do to get through the day - to try and keep up with my work schedule in between resting as much as I need to.  Many things have fallen behind, but I am content to focus on those two things - work and the health of my baby and myself.  We have put so much into this - emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually - our baby is the one absolutely important thing into which I need to place all my energy.

For those people who are still reading and commenting, I love going onto your blogs as well and I thank you so much for your support.  After all this time, there is something about hearing from people who know the story from the beginning and who have been supportive all the way through.  Those are the people that matter - both in the real world and the on-line world - and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Yes, I guess I am feeling quite emotional today.  Quite likely hormones!  Of course, it is also the slow moving of days, the trials that they bring and how sometimes they just wear you down.

The wonderful news is that bubbie is still doing SO well.  We had an OB appointment and another scan yesterday and we are all just sailing along.  Aside from the bleed at 6 weeks, there has never been one moment where there has been any medical concern for bubs.  And even that bleed was nothing to do with bubs - it was all outside of my uterus.  Bubs is just sailing through!  It is amazing and surreal and wonderful.

Our morphology scan is next week.  That is going to be such a milestone along the journey and I can't wait!  Of course, we have our fingers crossed that all will be good news, but going on the results so far - there is no reason why it shouldn't be.

As for me, I am waiting.  Waiting till the day that I can feel my baby moving around and kicking.  That will be a blessed day!  But it might be some time coming.  It turns out my placenta is in the front which means I won't feel bubs as easily.  A blessing for when I am trying to sleep further along the path (!), but a delay in the day that I will be so much more secure in our pregnancy.

In the meantime, I try to be relaxed and loving and peaceful.  I want to transfer those feelings onto  bubs so he/she also feels safe and loved and at peace.  Not always an easy task I tell you, but an important goal to continue to work on achieving.