Making room for bubs (and updating!)

 

Hi all!  Sorry I haven't been around much or kept up blogging - both posting and commenting.  There just doesn't seemed to have been time in my head for it!  But I have really appreciated the comments I have received and have enjoyed quick catch ups on your blogs to see how things are going for you.

One of the reasons that there has been no time, is that we have been tackling some major projects around the home - clutter clearing, organising, building, gardening - all outdoor projects which is an area we haven't tackled since D moved in.  See my other blog - Creating Peaceful Thoughts- for all the details!

The clutter clearing and building in particular, held a lot of significance for me in regards to our conception journey, because I saw it as clearing away lots of rubbish in order to make room for bringing a new life into our home and lives.  And the building of a work area in the carport was like adding a new room to our home and saw us becoming more efficient both inside and outside the home with more clutter clearing, organising and creating of space.

The process is continuing with much more still to do.  And each step forward always signifies to me, more space in our lives for bubs to come in.

That was one of the really positive things that has happened and is still happening!

This, plus so many other little signs last cycle though, made me really hopeful about a positive result.  I was sure that we were finally going to conceive.  So, when my new cycle began, I was so upset.  It was the first time I have really truly cried over a new cycle.  And it occurred just as we were about to go away for the weekend and with visitors!  Oh dear.  Somehow, with D's help and support, I managed to get through that little episode secretly with our visitors none the wiser, and a wonderful weekend away!

However, the positive thing in this new cycle is that the length was back down to 30 days.  I haven't had a 30 day cycle since before we started trying a year and a half ago.  It always takes around 3 months for new naturopathic meds to really kick into the system and it has now been that long since Queen Naturo put me on new hormones. 

I truly believe that my system is balanced so much better and more ready to conceive - a 30 day cycle is awesome for me.  A few weeks ago I was all ready to go see my other naturopath for a second opinion (who I haven't seen at all since the journey began), but this has brought my belief back again to the awesome duo that I have my faith in.

It also means that I once again, have such hopes for this cycle.  A blessing and a curse all at once!!

More updates:

**  King Acupunc has become more gungho about getting us pregnant after going to yet another fertility workshop.  He came away equipped with more ideas, more specific points to needle me, and with lots of charts for me to fill in!  I appreciate this passion he has to ensure results and hope it works!

**  Mr. Ayuveda is continuing to help me, this time working with my own feelings and instincts on what is going on for me.  Every now and then I turn up at his door with such a clear image on what is wrong and when it is that strong he is able to get a clearer picture himself on what is needed.

This week was all about helping my soul to find my body.  I have been feeling so strongly that I am living outside of my body, up in my head.  And I think it has been this way for a long time, which is a big reason for my struggles with weight and food addiction.  Before I saw him, I managed for split seconds every now and then to be able to become grounded in myself.  And every time I did, for that split second, the food cravings would disappear completely.

Now, after his session, I am able to ground myself and feel centered for longer periods, which is really helping with healthy eating and feeling more peaceful.  Which in turn, will help us conceive, I'm sure!

Getting away

My coincidence, or design (!), D and I are able to get away to our property in the country this weekend.  It's cold and wet, but we don't care.  We can't wait to get there and freeze our wet asses off!! 

We will freeze in the cold caravan but we don't care because we are going to curl up in bed together and watch a movie on D's tiny little E-Reader. 

We are going to be stomping around in the muddy ground, but we don't care because we have galoshes.

We are going to have to try to find wood in the dark when we arrive, but we don't care because we will use our new chainsaw.  And if we can't find dry wood, then we won't care because we will curl up in bed early and laugh and talk and have fun together.

It's cold and wet, but we don't care because it will probably mean we will be there by ourselves (without the other partners in the property being there with their 4 kids, 2 dogs, 6 quadbikes and sometimes grumpy demeanour).  It will just be the two of us in the peace and quiet surroundings of the middle of nowhere nature.

I can't wait.  I see this as being a good start back on the track of my life as I want it to be.  A good start out of the slump of not just this week, but the last two weeks.  A clean slate.  Fresh clean air to blow away the staleness and stagnant thoughts and to bring in calm, peaceful, positive new ones.  The true thoughts of my soul!

The two of us together in one of our favourite places in the world.  What bliss!

Exercise restrictions

One of the things that I LOVE to do is re-arranging and re-decorating our home. Ever since I was big enough to move things around, I have done this - starting with my childhood bedroom!

When D moved in, we combined two households of furniture into one. Despite culling and storing, as you can imagine, the house became VERY full!

So, my love of re-arranging has been restrained. Furniture is bigger and heavier, there is less space and the possibilities are very limited. However, finally this week, after several weeks of it building, I finally came up with a plan. The place looks great! It's more open and fresher. Cleaner and tidier.

But there was a hiccup! I believe I have torn the ligaments in my right knee. The difficulties arising from this and attempting to become pregnant are not good. It could take months to get into surgery to have it fixed and if I am then pregnant, it won't be possible. Which means going through my pregnancy with a bung knee.



And then of course, exercise is problematic which is a problem for my fitness level in coping with the pregnancy. I haven't really got into a good and regular routine and am desperate to do so. But my usual exercise - Walking and Curves - are not possible right now. However, water exercise could solve the problem. But I don't like going to the public pool! Guess I will just have to suck it up!

The funny thing is though, that I am not irritated or angry or upset at having done this to my knee. Aside from the above concerns, there are no negative emotions AT ALL. I find myself going with the flow and accepting of it all.

It seems a strange reaction, yet there is absolutely no other feelings but these. I am not upset about it. And while I really want to get my fitness back to its normal level, I find myself not worried at all about not being able to go to Curves.

I feel a sense of relief. A sense of destiny.

Now I can slowly, in my own pace, with no pressure of 3x a week getting to the gym, get back into my love of walking. I mean, I love Curves and want to continue with it later down the track, but for some reason, I feel as though I have let go of a burden.

And then I came across this article from the Infertility-Fertility blog on stress and exercise. Here is a quote...

We saw that if you are stressed when you start exercise, your body reacts differently than if you are not chronically stressed and exercise. Not only does it appear that exercise was more stressful for already stressed women, but certainly exercise did not help them lower their stress hormones, which is of course one reason people take up exercising.

I do have a tendency to be stressed without even knowing it. When I think about it though, I know I am placing a lot of pressure on myself to be fit and healthy for bubby. And I am not being very successful, which is definitely causing me stress. Stress that is based on a life-time of stress over the same issues.

This article confirms for me that something is not right. I need to reassess. I need to do one of the most important things for me in this process - find the stress free me.

My knee injury is my sign. It is telling me to stop, to chill out. I am not upset by my knee for a reason. It is time I took a back step and relaxed with my life. I am allowed to let go of the pressure of immediate health and fitness. I am grateful for being forced to stop, for being given a reason to stop. I have been given permission to gradually find my love of walking and living a life of exercise once more.

Clutter clearing to reduce stress

One of my continuing goals is to reduce stress in my life and create a calm and happy environment within me with which to create, grow and raise our child. To that end, I've set about clutter clearing.

Goal 1 - the kitchen cupboards.

I haven't taken photos of these but they are so much better now. The pots and pans cupboard, the baking utensils cupboard (there is one now instead of things being scattered over several cupboards!)... There are three cupboards now in much better shape.

I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be able to shut the door properly on the pots and pans cupboard! Wonderful! It is also much easier to access things and to KEEP it tidy! Woohoo!! Some more sanity!

Goal 2 - the linen press.

This is the biggie! Last time I did this was before D moved in. And of course, he came with all his linen and while there was some sorting and throwing out etc at the time, it had gotten chaotic.

Because I've been sick, it has taken me three days to do this. A little bit here, exhaustion, a little bit there, exhaustion! You get the idea. But I have persisted as I could and it is now done.

Here are the before photos.

What a mess it was!

And here are the after photos!

If you look closely, you can even see that I got the labeler out and labelled what was on each shelf. I remember the last time I did the linen cupboard, thinking that is was going overboard doing that. But not this time, no, this time it stays organised! :)

Ah, on my way to a calmer mind and body. And a happier baby to be!

I don't feel that way yet. But I know that I am on the way. And when I fully recover and get back into life, particularly into exercising, then it will begin to emerge more fully.

Goal 3 - the spare room

Oh dear...

...to be cont.

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