I am definitely an "In Season to be Mum"!! Life is falling in place around me to allow this to happen. The syncronicity of things is amazing!
The biggest one is work.
I have been quite stressed by work over the last few years. It went in bursts of course, but my overall longing has been to be able to work less and be a Mum. I enjoy my work, but I haven't enjoyed SO much of it. I have known for many years that if I could just cut down on the amount, my true love of it would come back and I would perform in my job so much better. I could fully commit to the work that I had rather than having to spread myself thin.
And right from when I began working in my career, I've had the knowledge that it is perfect for motherhood. I can cut down on numbers and days as I wish, take time off for maternity leave (no pay!) and be able to return a year later with no problems. So, as I started heading into my late 30's, the desire for this change became stronger and stronger. And also the years doing the same thing started becoming stressful in itself. Yet, as a single woman living alone, there was nothing I could do about it.
But I never wanted to do anything else. I looked at it from to time to time. But mostly a change of career meant more study. After two degrees and a diploma, I didn't want to do that anymore!! And I'm good at my job!
When I met D, life changed wonderfully and quickly. We soon moved in together and, after experiencing many Mr. and Miss Wrongs, we both knew with absolute certainty how right we were for each other.
The happiness in my life increased with D. I felt so blessed. Yet the stress of my job started to increase also! The thought of my dreams coming true started to become a reality! I was enjoying life more which made working much more pleasureable as well, yet the dream was around the corner waiting for its moment in time.
And here is where the amazing thing comes into play. Just as we started trying to have a baby and became very conscious about the need to create a stress free and healthy me, things have changed in my work timetable. Without me even doing anything!!!
Numbers always drop halfway through the year, but this year they have dropped in such a way that my timetable is wonderfully stress free! I have two full days, two half days and two hours on a Friday morning. And it has just happened that way! Of course, if this had happened when I was still single, I would probably be selling my house by now. But it didn't, it has happened now, and that says a lot!
- This means that I am able to get to the gym in the mornings without the stress of rushing off to work.
- I can come home at the end of the day and take the dog for a walk, without the stress of preparing for the next day.
- The exercise routine is back!!
- Less stress and the wonderful purpose of wanting a healthy body for my child to grow and nourish as helped me get back into good eating patterns.
- Health routine is back!!
- And D is in my life creating and sharing it all together. aahhh...
And I am relaxing. I can feel the stress slipping away from my body.
I am enjoying my work again. I am giving more to each individual person that comes in. And I am loving that!
I am so amazed at how this has happened. If there was any doubt in my mind about becoming pregnant over 40, it is all gone. This is meant to be. I am not expecting a perfect run, that would be unrealistic. But life is giving me this chance!! And I am embracing it!
I am happy in a way that I never have been before. I can't explain it really. There is joy. And I keep feeling it all through the day. It's a constant surprising thought. I am happy, wow, I am truly happy.