My blood tests results came back very positively yesterday. My FSH levels are exactly where they need to be in order for the IVF drugs to work their best wonders.
I gave myself my first injection last night with no problems. I was so worried about going through these next two weeks without Dave. In fact 24 hours ago, I would have said I wasn't coping. But something shifted during the day yesterday and I feel great! Don't ask me what it was. I wouldn't have a clue!!!
I'm feeling really, really positive about this round. I know that can be a dangerous place to go when the let down can then be even bigger, but I don't care! I'm feeling really good about the possiblity of being successful this time around and I intend to go with this feeling!
So many things seem to be falling into place at the moment.
One - The freakiest one of all is the level of syncronicity between my kinesiologist and my therapist. Everytime a new things come up with one person, it is also comes up with the other. It's crazy! And I love it! I feel like they are working together. And I really believe that I have been led to both of them at this time in my life.
I feel like there are some really significant breakthroughs going on in my pysche and that I am finally beginning to take some small steps toward releasing some long held patterns and issues in my life. And to be doing that just before a baby comes along, is simply wondrous. I have always wanted to be in a place where I am not passing on to much "garbage" to my child. So that they don't inherit and have to deal with all the difficult things that I have had to. We bring so much into our lives that need healing as it is, it would be nice not to give my child all my "garbage" on top of that as well.
Anyway, it is just baby steps, but I'm feeling so good about it all at the moment. It is giving me the feeling of the timing being just right. And that, as I let go and heal from my own issues, I will be a much better mother.
Two - And then there is starting to babysit my great nephew every week. My maternal instincts have been switched on with him and I am loving the role of being his caretaker once a week. I love it more than I thought I would and it just fits me to a tee! It's made me more excited about being a mum.
Three - Without my intending it to be, my work hours have dropped quite a lot this year. I have more time, less stress and I am beginning to love my life once more. I am certainly enjoying work more which is just wonderful. In fact, I could even begin to say, I'm starting to love it again. I haven't been able to say that for years!
As a result, I am beginning to enjoy my home life more. I'm getting out into the garden, I'm keeping up with the bookwork. I'm back to regular exercise. I'm not feeling this constant pressure to have to keep up with everything because I have more time to achieve what needs to be done.
I am grateful to be in this place now, after two months of really struggling. Thank you!!!
A truly happy one for today! One of my favs of Dave!