Two more days

Two more sleeps till our pregnancy blood test.  The wait is driving me mad.  We are now at the stage where I could do a home test, but with the chance of false readings from all the hormones, I am hesitant to do so.  Of course, being at this stage also means that every time I go to the toilet I have my fingers crossed that things are still staying positive.

I assume the clinic waits an extra couple of days past the two weeks just to see what happens, to make sure that there has been no period.  But it's torture for me!!!  :)

It's been a few days since I posted, so a quick update...

Friday saw me laying down in the car on the way to a funeral for Logans paternal grandmother with really sharp pains in my belly/uterus.  They were either from running around too much getting ready or possibly they were implantation cramps.  Hopefully they were implantation pains!  Either way they were most uncomfortable and prevented from being able to take care of Logan properly.  Mum stepped in as his other main babysitter and held him for me.

Dave didn't want me taking any risks in holding him and putting strain on my abdominal muscles and uterus.  I was okay for a little while, but it didn't take long to start to hurt. The pain lasted until I was able to get home and rest.

Over the weekend, I have developed pains similiar to menstrual pains.  It is frustrating that pregnancy pains and period pains can be the same!  However, these pains I usually only feel when I am acutally bleeding and as I'm not.....,  my fingers are still crossed.  I've also woken up throughout the night with nausea, not to a vomiting stage or anywhere near that, just an unpleasant nausea feeling.  Then it goes once I fully awaken in the morning.  It is too early to be feeling morning sickness, so I'm not sure what that means.

I had trouble on my walk yesterday.  I was huffing and puffing up a very slight incline that I wouldn't normally think about and I slowed down as the walk progressed.  I do feel quite lethargic.  But once again, that doesn't necessarily mean pregnancy.  Whatever is going on in my body, it is going through a lot and tiredness, I guess, is to be expected.

So, I live in a state of fear, hopefullness, unsure, positivity, back to fear.  It just goes on and on.  Other times, I place my hands on my belly and talk to my embies and try and get any sensations of them being there and growing.  Sometimes I think I am aware of something, an energy, an awareness.  But who knows.  I had the same feeling before and things didn't work out in the end.  I stay hopeful though.