Connecting over 40 mums and mums to be

Today is a good day for feeling stress-free and accepting of life’s plan! 

I like it when a good wave comes along and you just feel fine.  Sure, I have a silly cold and am feeling physically a bit blah, but who cares!  Today, I feel content in the moment.

I came across a great site today.  Flower Power Mom!!

Flower Power Mom is an online blog and resource offering support, tips, articles, information and an e-newsletter  for women having children after 40.

I joined her site and not much time later, I received a lovely email from Angel thanking me for visiting and offering support, advice and lots of information on this subject of over 40 mums and mums to be.  She also asked if she could list my blog in her soon to be up and running list of links as well as her newsletter this month.  How exciting!

 

I’m excited by the thought of being able to connect with, and support, other woman who are making this journey of becoming pregnant over 40.  I hope it is something that will become much more promoted and accepted in our society. 



I haven’t come across anyone as yet, who has expressed judgement about over 40 pregnancy.  Thank goodness!  However, I am also not personally ‘out’ on the subject, nor pregnant yet!  Surprisingly then, the subject often comes up, and thankfully with no criticism.  Instead, I am often asked if D and I are wanting to have children.  To which I politely say, ‘well you never know’!!

The only experience I had recently was not at all directed to me but instead was a conversation by a group of in their 20’s mothers who I was with for a friends birthday.  Their conversation was filled about their children, comparing notes about their development and experiences.  At one point, they were talking about a sister who got pregnant some time after her previous children – at 37!!!!  Oh my goodness, she was 37 they stated in shock and horror!  Inwardly, I just laughed!

On the reverse side of that day, was a woman who was 44, met her partner late in life and was quite happy openly talking about how they had just started trying to have a child.  Talk about opposites!  It was lovely to meet her and ask her about her journey even if I wasn’t able to talk about my own! 

So, thanks Angel (Flower Power Mom) for your site and all the work and research that you have done for mums and mums to be over 40.  I am looking forward to being part of your community!

Ovulation Testing

 

 

 

 

This week I have added measuring my basal body temperature to the morning routine.

We have been using Maybe Baby for the last few months to help us determine ovulation time.  It seemed like the best way to do it – through saliva testing.  Maybe Baby tells you exactly when you are ovulating through examining saliva in a mini microscope.  Whereas with basal testing, the indications of ovulation, through the changes in ones basal body temperature, occur AFTER ovulation.

So we went with Maybe Baby as a more reliable method.  However, it just doesn’t seem to be working for me.  According to the GYN, I am ovulating now.  But Maybe Baby is not telling us that.  We get vague signs of it from time to time but nothing concrete.

So, I went and bought a basal thermometer.  So far, so good.  It’s only been a week and it will take 3 months to really track my temperature changes.  But using it in conjunction with Maybe Baby is proving to be a positive thing.

The only other option is urine testing.  But the tests are SO expensive and you get maybe 7 tests in a kit.  So you have to already be very sure on when ovulation may be occurring and then hope that you got it right.  It may be a more accurate method in the actual testing for ovulation, but definitely not for the timing of when to take the tests – not to mention the extreme cost!

Of course, blood tests are the best way to see if you have ovulated.  Not helpful for the timing of creating life, but reassuring to know afterwards that you have ovulated!  My blood tests take place on Day 23 of each cycle, which will be next week.  With the hoohaa of Christmas and New Year I missed doing it all last cycle, so I will have to postpone my fertility clinic appointment for a month.  Unless of course, we get pregnant this cycle.  Then I won’t have to go have the next ultrasound of injecting dye into my womb to look at my fallopion tubes.  Wouldn’t that be good!!!!  :):)

 

I feel more positive about ovulating this month.  Signs that I recognise as ovulation in my body have been occurring.  I haven’t had these for several months now, so positivity and hopefulness is increasing.

Is that a good thing?  I don’t know.  I was so upset last month.  But I just can’t help being positive and hopeful.  It’s in my nature.  It’s like not jumping into love, cause you are afraid you will get hurt.  You just do it!!  And this is the same.  I can’t stop being excited about the possibility of becoming pregnant just because it might not happen!  In with both feet!!!

5%

Something different has been occurring the last couple of days.  Normally when I get sad, I tend to lean towards certain types of food.  But the couple of days, that hasn’t happened.  The opposite has been occurring instead.  I have found myself leaning toward healthy food, vegetables mostly.  I am finding a simplicity and peacefulness.

I wonder how much of it is related to my new book You Can Get Pregnant Over 40, Naturally by Sandy Robertson.  I like her chapters on fertility food.  I have loved her meditation CD.  I truly believe these are helping shift my focus.

And this morning, I have read some encouraging articles about conception and weight.  Both articles have said that losing just 5% of ones body weight, highly increases ones fertility.  That just seems so do-able.  5%.  Sigh of relief.  It’s not saying what BMI you need to be, it’s not saying you need to lose 20 kilos, it’s just saying 5%.  That feels like no pressure, no expectations, no great demands, no insistence, no stress.

• So, I find myself not being stressed by this issue anymore.
• I find myself eager to continue listening to the meditation CD and act upon the advice in Sandy’s book.
• I find myself feeling calm and peaceful within this sadness that is slowly passing through my system.
• I am finding myself turning towards healthier options and being satisfied very quickly.
• I am finding myself at peace with feeling healthier in my body.  The thought of weight loss has often brought about scary feelings within me.  But not today.  Today there is just a sigh of release and a welcoming of the new feelings and sensations.

Kiara, my kitty, is sprawled out on the desk as close to my computer (and me!) as she can be.  Cats are just so cute.  She looks up at me lovingly, so relaxed and contented.  She just oozes peace and contentment and stillness.  She is such a delight!


She stretches out with her paw and rests it on my arm.  Her purrs are loud and soothing.  Her eyes are half shut, relaxed and sleepy.  She nuzzles in and drifts off into cat dreamland.

She is simply adding to this wonderful feeling that is slowly being generated within me.  God bless her!

A new book.

Many months ago when I first began researching the net for pregnancy over 40, I came across Sandy Robertson’s websites and blogs and her book You Can Get Pregnant Over 40, Naturally.
   



I wanted to buy the book right then and there.  But I thought, no, we are just getting started and we are doing it with the support and guidance of our naturopath and acupuncturist.  We will be pregnant in no time!

Now, we are in Cycle 8 and I am delighted to say, I have bought and downloaded her book.  Yea!
I am looking forward to reading what she has to say, the guidance and advice that she has to offer.  I am looking forward to finding peace in the process once more.  I am looking forward to following her advice on nutrition.
 
I ignore the chapter on weight because worrying about that is only problematic for my stress levels.   I already know all the medical stats as well as all the naturopathic healing, support and successful results.   The issue of weight in conception and pregnancy, and generally, is not as cut and dry as a couple of paragraphs.  Those who haven’t ever had to deal with it, will never really understand the issues involved.  There is so much more to it.  What is important is being healthy and fit and having all the right hormonal and vitamin balances in the body. 

Thus her chapter on nutrition is going to be invaluable to me.  Eat well and exercise, reduce stress. Eat more fruit and vegetables.  They are important factors in conception and having a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby.  Food is the one area that I struggle with and need to manage more effectively.  I have so much trouble getting my spiritual and physical self connected.  With any luck, Sandy will be able to assist me with this.

She also has a meditation CD that I can download.  I think this will also be very helpful for me.

All these things, I hope, will bring about a more peaceful me and a physical me that is more receptive to conception.  A healthier me, a more connected me, a more relaxed me, a pregnant me!!

The journey continues…

There is a lot to put down into words from the last 24 hours.  Perhaps a couple of posts would the best way to do it.

Last night saw me have a bit of a meltdown.

All of the following things listed – mentally, I know are just fine.  They are all the things of which I have complete mental clarity, understanding and acceptance.  None of them are a problem and they all have either my desire to be doing it or my complete support. 

Yet, my emotions have taken me a different way.  The rolled out in this order:

• The winding down and shifting energy after family left from two week Christmas/NY visit,
• Working out together, that the week D needs to go out of town for work is my ovulation week,
• the results of yet another test,
• the build up of 7 months of taking pills, having tests, getting results, tracking cycles and ovulations (or the lack thereof), going to the fertility clinic, naturopath and weekly acupuncture appointments,
• not being able to lose weight and continuing to really struggle with healthy eating patterns (my lifelong challenge which only adds stress to my desire to conceive)

The consequence of this was a complete switch in my emotions and hormones – chemical changes fluctuating wildly!  And my mental clarity and understanding having absolutely no say in the matter.

D saw something was wrong “Whats wrong, Bloss.  Talk to me”.

”I don’t know” I said, “Maybe it is winding down after having family here, maybe I’m sick of trying to conceive”

And on that, I burst into tears.  Ah, that is what it is.  Now I knew.

This morning I stayed in bed and continued to sleep until midday.  That in itself says a hell of a lot as I can never sleep during the day unless I am sick.  I got up only when I realised that my other naturopath might have my happy pills that I haven’t had for a few weeks.  She did and I went to get them.  A little naturally healthy kick of the chemicals that help mood is in order.

 

She also had another tab that will help with my last test results.  So I came home and worked out how many mg and mcg I needed of B12, B6, Folic Acid and Zinc and worked out what I needed to take in order to achieve that.  I will check it all with Queen Naturo when she returns from holidays.

Being pro-active with this has definitely helped.  I’m not one to want to wallow in these challenging emotions.  I have to acknowledge them, I have to feel them and allow them their natural course, but I will also try to find a way out of them.  I haven’t felt this depth of depression for quite some time though, so it will take some time I think.

In the meantime, after a day of laying in bed and either reading or sleeping, I am ready to start to do one thing at a time, one step at a time.  Right now, I’m going to cut around the stickers that I’ve been meaning to use for a long time.

Next posts – Homocysteine Tests and my new book purchase You Can Get Pregnant Naturally Over 40 by Sandy Robertson.

Finding Gratitude.

I’m really struggling to find my happy place at the moment.  It is possible that external influences are factoring in to it, but mostly I think it is starting another cycle. 

So, what I need to do is to be grateful for this latest stage in our conception journey and my life overall.  In this way, I can find my positivity once more.

I am grateful for:

• the opportunity to continue to move into a healthier way of living.
• being able to enjoy NYE with a few drinks.
• having D in my life – his love and his support and his wonderful way of being able to find my happy place!
• my naturopath and acupuncturist and the support and treatment they are providing.
• their 100% strike rate for conception!
• being able to begin painting the outdoor setting and to poison the weeds today. (although D ended up poisoning for me!)  If I was pregnant or thought I was pregnant, I wouldn’t have done those jobs.
• our home and our life together.
• my parents.
• our pets.
• the changes in my work situation this year.
• that all our test results were good.
• school holidays.
• our rural property that we can go to whenever we like.
• remembering that when I am struggling, I simply need to focus on one step at a time, one job at a time, one thing at a time.
• our brand new Canon SLR and the digital photography course I just downloaded!

So, now I let it sit.  Absorb it.  Allow it to come to fruition.  And eventually I will be back to my usual place of positivity, gratitude and living in the moment.

Day 3, Cycle 8

New Years Eve was fantastic!!  How was your night??  I hope you all enjoyed seeing the New Year and new decade in your most favourite of ways!

About an hour before we left for our property, my period began.

There were some tears and working through the sadness during the two hour drive to our property.

But once we were there, we had a wonderful time!!  I was grateful for and greatly enjoyed being able to have a few drinks and cracked open my favourite bottle of red wine – Wolf Blass Grey Label Shiraz.  I could have stayed up all night, but by 3am we headed to bed and slept for just a few hours.  I guess that’s the problem being an early riser – you go to bed late and still wake up early!!  But I woke up refreshed this morning after a wonderful nights sleep.

I need to move back into a place of feeling positive about conceiving and simply going with the flow of life once more.  At the moment, I am feeling a little sad and dejected about it.  This is the first time I have truly felt this way at the beginning of a new cycle. 

After the GYN told me she believed I was ovulating and that all the tests for both of us were good, I began to feel more hopeful about our chances.

Now I need to go back to the stress-free, relaxed, let things come as they do, approach to life and conception that always works well.  I think it might be a little harder to find now, but just writing this is helping it to come back just a little!