My mid-morning my new cycle had begun and along with it came anger. I was so angry that my period had hung off just long enough for enough for us to have those three hopeful minutes waiting for the pregnancy test.
I'm still a bit angry but thankfully that emotion is slowly dissipating. I'm so frustrated. I don't know what to do or how to feel. The logical brain says everything is as it should be, live in the moment, blah, blah, blah. The other side of brain wants to scream and yell and say WTF!!! Any infertility diagnosis is terrible. Unexplained infertility is exasperating.
Nothing like being able to enjoy a glass of red wine though. I miss red wine. Most of the time I don't think about. It's been a long time now not drinking except for the first few days of my cycle. But every now and then, particularly when socializing, I miss it greatly. So, tonight I get to indulge that favourite pastime. It's a good glass of red from D's cold room at his work. Just divine!
Anger is so healthy. Feel every big of it and somehow get rid of it. I attempt to bash my bed pillows or beat the bed with one of those long sponge things you use in the pool. Whatever works, do it. THEN ... enjoy your wine my dearest NM .... and the love of your life. The combination is magical.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry my dear Annie. I was holding my breath. I agree with Lady D, do whatever works.
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