Well, our journey towards parenthood is still going. It’s not as all-encompassing anymore but it is still happening. We are still taking all our herbs, still not drinking alcohol, still keeping track of my fertile period and still waiting.
I find myself though, not focusing on the journey so much. Life has come up and taken hold and there are too many other things going on. Too many other goals to reach and things to do.
I suppose that is a good thing, not having our desire to conceive to be in the forefront of our lives. Sometimes though, I wonder if it is a ‘giving up’ on my part, a loss of faith that it will ever happen.
I stopped going to acupuncture three weeks ago. I just needed a break from it. I’ve been going every week for about 8 months now. I know I will resume it again. But aside from needing a break, I think I have also lost a little faith in this as well.
But, we are still trying. We are almost at the end of the two week wait. It seems to have been going for a long time this time around! I am impatient to know whether I am going to be really happy to be pregnant or happy to be able to enjoy a lovely glass of good red wine at the start of a new cycle!
It is so nice to be able to have the second option as a happy thing when we find out we aren’t pregnant. At least there is something good in it! But I am certainly looking forward to completely giving up drinking for over a year and growing and feeding our little bubby instead.
Anyway, that is where I am right now. A little on the back leg, a little disillusioned, a little despondent, but still walking!