Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Flying and pointlessness

I’m flying to Melbourne on Friday to meet D for the weekend.  Have I ever told you about my terrible fear of flying.  Fear of turbulence and the plane crashing, fear of having a panic attack as well as the claustrophobia which I only have only a plane?? 

You get the idea.  Terror!

But I have been researching it all today, what is turbulence, how planes fly, giving myself loads of information so that I understand it all much better.  And then I discovered a free on-line course written by a captain pilot to help recover from this condition.  So, I am doing that now.

I have also gotten the necessary natural therapies to assist – nerve tissue salts, and a bach flower remedy.  And on the day, I will also have a rescue remedy spray.

I like that I am discovering more about it all.  I think it will help.

I really wanted to take this opportunity.  Once I am pregnant, I won’t want to fly because of the stress it creates in me.  I don’t want to pass that on to bubby.  So, now that I know I am not pregnant for at least another two weeks, and this opportunity is here, we are taking it and going to have a weekend rendezvous in another city!

I’m feeling a real sense of pointlessness in my life right now.  I am so ready to be a Mum.  It’s been nearly a year now and still no bubby.  And I just don’t know what I am doing in my life.  Nothing seems to have any meaning at all.  Not my work, not my activities, not my family.  It all seems really pointless.

I know this will pass.  I will find again a sense of serenity and peacefulness in the moment.  In just being.  But it’s not here right now.  I miss D.  I haven’t been able to have my “it’s okay, honey, we’ll try again this month” hug.  I had to tell him over the phone that I got my period.  But, as a result, I am having a weekend in Melbourne and that will be good!


  1. Enjoy your weekend - a break will do you both good! I love Melbourne, wonderful city and that coast drive is fabulous, not to mention the wine tours!

  2. Those are sad words for such a beautiful person.
    You may need to take a step back to figure out the meaning of life - where you come from, why you're here, where you're going.
    The cycle of sadness is not good.
    Maybe meeting it head-on is a possibility for healing that sore that keeps flaring up.
    Are there any orphanages around where kids crave a hug, or a hospital that needs arms to hold babies?
    I know you will feel better soon, but the roller coaster of emotions needs a fix.

  3. Aging Mommy - we hope the coast drive one day. D did it on his own coming back from a work trip a few months ago. Came back with awesome photos. I hope we can do it together at some stage

    Anita - roller coaster emotions is all pretty normal really. The trick is to deal with them and let them take their course and pass on by. Talking about them helps too. Feeling so much better today, Anita. Thank you!

  4. Glad you're feeling better!
    You probably know by now that I tend to feel deeply for people that are experiencing pain or sadness, probably because I REALLY don't like those times in my life.
    Sooo...I always dig deep trying to help.