I’m flying to Melbourne on Friday to meet D for the weekend. Have I ever told you about my terrible fear of flying. Fear of turbulence and the plane crashing, fear of having a panic attack as well as the claustrophobia which I only have only a plane??
You get the idea. Terror!
But I have been researching it all today, what is turbulence, how planes fly, giving myself loads of information so that I understand it all much better. And then I discovered a free on-line course written by a captain pilot to help recover from this condition. So, I am doing that now.
I have also gotten the necessary natural therapies to assist – nerve tissue salts, and a bach flower remedy. And on the day, I will also have a rescue remedy spray.
I like that I am discovering more about it all. I think it will help.
I really wanted to take this opportunity. Once I am pregnant, I won’t want to fly because of the stress it creates in me. I don’t want to pass that on to bubby. So, now that I know I am not pregnant for at least another two weeks, and this opportunity is here, we are taking it and going to have a weekend rendezvous in another city!
I’m feeling a real sense of pointlessness in my life right now. I am so ready to be a Mum. It’s been nearly a year now and still no bubby. And I just don’t know what I am doing in my life. Nothing seems to have any meaning at all. Not my work, not my activities, not my family. It all seems really pointless.
I know this will pass. I will find again a sense of serenity and peacefulness in the moment. In just being. But it’s not here right now. I miss D. I haven’t been able to have my “it’s okay, honey, we’ll try again this month” hug. I had to tell him over the phone that I got my period. But, as a result, I am having a weekend in Melbourne and that will be good!