Monday, April 19, 2010

Back on land

The flights are done and a good weekend was had!

How did I go?
Well, I got lucky.  I had two relatively smooth flights, which made it much easier to manage.

Did the course help?
Yes, it did.  There was no instant cure.  I still had to manage my fear, but by the second flight, I was surprising myself with how well I did manage the small turbulence that we had and the feelings of take off and landing.  It was starting to feel like any other travel trips on car or boat with all the bumping and rocking along the way.  And I found myself smiling 30,000 feet in the air!

As I took off the second time, my little ditty popped in my head.  “He flys through the air with the greatest of ease..”  It helped SO SO SO much!!  I then kept telling myself “it’s just like being in the car, the bumps are normal”. 

On each flight, I also told the flight attendants on boarding that I had this fear and that I had just done a course trying to conquer it.  They were all really nice and helpful and it made it better knowing that they knew.  I wasn’t alone up there.

How were my stress levels?
Terrible!  And still are.  The lead up to this trip was so stressful for me.  I was often led to tears, my nerves were a mess, and I really wasn’t coping too well with anything.  Now I am successfully back and feeling so much more confident about the next time I may have to fly.  However, my anxiety levels are still high.  I just can’t wind down. 

D is still away and I am not coping with that either.  Which is unusual.  Normally I am fine with being on my own, having done it my most of my life.  Perhaps if he was here, I would be winding down better.  Who knows.

How was Melbourne?
Melbourne was fabulous and the hotel was superb!!!  I don’t have the photos because D still has the camera!  But I took some great ones and can’t wait to show you.  It was a real Grand Hotel.  The staff were old school in their manner and actions and voice.  The decor was like being in a 19th century mansion.  Unfortunately the prices matched that!  So, we ate out and bought a box of cornflakes for breakfast.  The hotel charged $10 for a bowl!!! 

We did have one night where we ate in the hotel bar.  Much more reasonably priced.  But still cooked by the hotel chef.  OH MY GOD!!!  I have never tasted a steak like it.  Absolutely luscious!! MMMMmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!

Overall, I am really happy with myself.  I didn’t allow my fear of flying to stop me having a weekend away.  I did all that I could, not to just deal with the flight, but to conquer the fear.  D is really proud of me! 

While I am glad to be grounded for a while to try and get my anxiety levels back to normal, I am actually keen to try again and remove my fear altogether!  A relatively smooth flight was a lucky break for me to start the process.  The next test will be to get onto a plane without the anxiety in the first place and then to stay relatively calm during rougher turbulence.  There is absolutely nothing to worry about.  And I am amazed to feel quite calm and believing as I write those words!

D wants to fly to Queensland a couple of times this year as the company that he his a partner in, is opening a new branch over there.  If I’m pregnant, I don’t want to take the chance.  But if I’m not, I look forward to another holiday together in another city!


  1. I really honor you for moving through the fear...what an amazing journey! I wish you well on continuing your progress!

  2. Well done flying on your own and dealing so well with your fears! I'm glad you had a wonderful time in Melbourne, can't wait to show my daughter the sites when I finally get up the courage to take her to visit my friend there!