And so it begins…
We got all the IVF drugs today and will start our first round when I get my period in a few days.
To be absolutely honest, I am absolutely terrified.
I am going through a tough patch now, just with my life. I am terrified about throwing this into the mix as well. How am I going to react? Will it be too much for me? Will I lose the plot? Will I end up in a full blown panic attack and in hospital? That maybe an overreaction, but it is a thought that I truly and honestly feel all the time.
First thing is, I need to try and get on top of things. I’m just not really sure how to go about that. Everything I have tried over the last few weeks hasn’t even gotten off the ground. But from tomorrow and especially from Monday, things need to be radically different.
The nurse said something interesting today. She said that for every negative thought we have, we need 6 positive thoughts to counteract it. Which roughly would mean I would need about 200 positive thought a day! LOL and a , but true. It shows just how powerful our negative thoughts are.
She suggested starting a list of positive things to do, when the negativity / despair etc descends. So Dave and I have put a little plan into action. We have a grocery shopping app that links to both our phones. Occasionally we have fun with it and leave each other messages. Dave is going to do this for me now. He is going to leave me positive, fun messages to try and help me through this phase I am in. That in itself is a wonderfully positive thought!
As for me, I need to find my own list. I need to remember that this IVF thing is the most important thing in my life and I need to battle my inner demons with love and positivity in order for things to go well for me, for us and for our future baby.