IVF round 3

The roller coaster ride has continued throughout our ivf rounds two and three.

This last round (round three) began with us saying to ourselves, that after round two, that we were due are nice and straight forward round.  Instead, what happened was we started the drugs, then found out I was pregnant, stopped the drugs, tried the support the pregnancy which was unsuccessful, then found out that my follicles were still growing, had to trigger them to release so I wouldn't develop any cysts on the ovaries, but weren't able to harvest them because my hormones were all mixed up with pregnancy hormones and progesterone hormones from trying to sustain pregnancy and excess eostrogen from starting the round and then we had to abstain from intimacy as there was a chance of multiple pregnancy from the follicles that were released.

In a nutshell.

How did it happen that we even started the cycle?   Well, I had a bleed.  It was unusual, but I still thought that it was a period.  My OB was away, she gave a phone approval for us to start and then we saw her a few days later when she returned.  After we started and I saw how my "period" continued, I was unsure about whether I had started taking the drugs on the right day.  I asked her about this and she questioned me on my "period" symptoms, she straight away sent me for a blood test.  She suspected it may have been a pregnancy - and my bleed was either a heavy implantation bleed, or maybe a pregnancy really not getting off the ground and my body was all confused.

She assured me I didn't need to worry about the injections I had taken so far.  If anything, they would have helped the pregnancy.  But she definitely didn't want me starting the second lot of drugs which I was due to start the next day.


I am SO glad I talked to her about what I thought was my period.  Otherwise we would have gone through the whole round oblivious to the pregnancy, spent thousands of dollars and gotten to theater possibly with no result or nothing viable.  The whole thing was totally screwed up.

Since then, I have had to go through multiple ovulation symptoms, my body preparing for a pregnancy and not succeeding, the emotions of the hormones as well as the emotions naturally caused by the circumstances.  The physical symptoms have been huge - all the way to completely erect, hard and painful nipples.  Boy, the things we have to go through.

The one thing I really don't understand is the Catch 22 of the follicles.  The clinic is doing the right thing and being cautious on both sides, but it is confusing and frustrating.  One one hand, the OB won't go to theatre and harvest because of the pregnancy hormones that will be putting everything off.  On the other hand, the follicles are still growing, need to be triggered to release and we have to abstain from intimacy because of the chance of multiple pregnancy.

I feel like there a half a dozen of my eggs just going to waste.  And that is so upsetting.
On the other hand, the last thing I want to do is be initimate.  My uterus and ovaries hurt too much to do anything.  I just couldn't deal with it!

So round three was a big flop.  So much for being due and nice and easy round.

The good thing is that we were given a full refund and will try again in January when we get back from our honeymoon.  And as for the honeymoon, we get to sit around the pool with alcoholic drinks rather than mocktails!  While I would rather be pregnant, I am looking forward to that!!!  :)

Ready

Day 14 and I’ve ovulated.  This means a normal, regular 28 day cycle.  What the??!!  That is unheard of for me!  So, I’m seeing it as a positive thing with the belief that my body has learnt from being pregnant for a brief time and has been reset to normal.  It has remembered what to do!

Positivity is reigning in my life today.  I’ve been sick for several days and I think the rest has been really good for me.  I’ve begun to change my story and have blogged about this on my other blog.  It is a good thing and I look forward to seeing how it evolves.

My doctor’s appointment is tomorrow.  Time to get things rolling for our first round of IVF.  With any luck, it won’t come to that, but I am now ready for it.  I’m looking forward to meeting a different OB with the hope that she is the right one for us.  She needs to have a positive approach to us trying to get pregnant over 40 and she needs to not dwell on my weight issues.  We know the over 40 and overweight statistics.  Just leave them in the background and stay focused on achieving pregnancy.  That is the support we need in this process.

And so be it!

Day 1

It’s Day 1 today.  I’m still having those uncomfortable uterine pains which I relate to my last pregnancy, but upon googling others experiences of post-miscarriage PMS, it all seems fairly normal.

It can take 3-4 months for the body to return to normal.  Until then, the symptoms can often make you feel as though you may be pregnant again.  Which is exactly what I am experiencing.  It is quite different to my usual PMS and period pain.  For me, as with some other women who have written over the net, I am experiencing lower back pain, cramping which is more like a constant dull ache or stretching sensation, nausea, mild breast tenderness and tiredness.  All of which, can be symptoms of pregnancy!  It can all be so confusing!

Last cycle, I began experiencing these things right after ovulation.  This time, they started about a week ago, along with a mood change of feeling quite sad one morning, which is a common PMS thing for me. 

The positive thing is that this is a 30 day cycle.  Having always had irregular cycles - , they can be anything from 30 – 36 days - having a 30 day cycle is a good sign for me.  I still have the hope that having experienced a pregnancy, my body has been reminded on what it has to do and is making the changes already.

As for what to do next, I have had enough of waiting to get pregnant.  I’m getting in with the OB asap!

A Four Month Update.

It’s been 4 months nearly since my last post.  Hard to believe.  An update has been in order for a long time.  My desire to document our journey so that our children can read about it one day, if they wish, is still there. 

But our lack of success and our need to take a break from it all, saw me steer clear of all blogging of any kind.

Now, due to the summer break and some thoughtful emails and comments from some blogger friends, I find myself back here.  Thank you.

There isn’t a lot to report. 

Upon mutual agreement we stopped seeing Queen Naturo and King Acupunc for fertility treatments.  They, and we, felt that what could be done by them, had be done and I was so ready to stop for a while.  Therefore the next step is IVF.

I have a second naturopath I see from time to time who has helped with my hormones greatly over the years.  I went to see her first before deciding to see QN and KA.  So, I went back to her just because I had to try.  I don’t have my hopes up at all and its been nearly three months now.  So, this is telling time.  They always say it takes around three months for the herbs to really make visible changes.  I’m hopeful.  But I’m not holding my breath.

We are both really disappointed that the very thing that brought us together, helps up in so many other ways and that we both believe in wholeheartedly has not helped us to become pregnant.

I finally told my Mum.  She was good about it and while she would prefer that we were married first, she understands our decisions and supports us.  And is actually a bit excited for me, as it turns out!  The most significant discovery however, was that her and Dad went through the same thing, with the same problems. 
Obviously, I always knew that there are many years between my two older brothers and myself and many years between them, but I didn’t give it a lot of thought. 
Mum and Dad went through the same procedures D and I are.  The tests, the questions, all of it – with the same result.  Unexplained infertility.
Which most likely puts it on my side!  And I wonder if Mum had the same problem as I seem to have with a lack of ovulation…

The last three cycles, I have tested for ovulation in THREE ways – basal, saliva and urine testing.  There has been no sign of ovulation with any of them.  You would think that if I was ovulating, ONE of them would indicate it.  I really wish the fertility clinic had just given me the clomid and been done with it.  But they wouldn’t because the blood tests indicated that I was ovulating.

However, our waiting period for the private hospital cover has completed now and we are able to go through the private system picking out our own OB.  We have a name a friend and nurse recommended, and when the time is right, this is the way we will have to go.

However, my mother is still in hospital after having surgery for bowel cancer.  She went in the week before Christmas and hasn’t been able to come home.  While the surgery went well and they believe they have gotten all of the cancer, there have been post-operative complications.  Physically, she is recovering very well.

But she has had a reaction to either anaesthesia or the medication she was given and is suffering from confusion and delusions.  It has been a very traumatic time for her, and for us, and we don’t know how long it will last.  As a result of this, she is also unable to handle the stoma she needed to have in order to allow her bowel to rest and heal. 
Dad doesn’t cope without her. They are both 80 years old.  He suffers from depression and, on one hand is handling it well, and on another hand is a mess.

So, there is no way that I can possibly face going through IVF until my parents are well.  It is hard enough being on holidays and dealing with it all, let alone back at work, supporting my parents and handling IVF treatments.

So, everything is hold for now.

Ayuveda

One week ago I went to see my ayuveda masseur.  The man is a god-send! 

I made the appointment a couple of months (he is hard to get into!) knowing that I needed an energy balancing.  Things weren't right and in the past he has been able to balance my energy beautifully.  

It was a great session.  Apparently my physical energy was going in a completely different direction to my spiritual energy.  No wonder I have felt so out of sorts and unbalanced.  The next day I was feeling much better -  more peaceful and centred and calmer.  And best of all, my addictive thinking had gone.  I can't even begin to describe how bad things have been in that regards over the last few months.  It's been out of control and making me utterly miserable for my complete lack of ability to do anything about it.  But two weeks ago I did.  I went to the one man who I know helps me.

He also worked on my fertility, clearing away a blockage and opening up hips.  Apparently my hips have been rolling inward which puts pressure on the ovaries.  He gave me an exercise to keep my hips open and rolled out to where they should be, which D has to help me with.

I see him again in a month to see how things are going.

The last week has been crazy with State Music Camp.  It's in the school holidays and involves me getting to work earlier, getting up earlier and driving further everyday.  That plus D also having an unusually busy week, we haven't done the exercise and I am starting to feel myself backsliding.  I've mentioned it to D and we are going to set up the massage table tonight so we can do it.  I'm looking forward to seeing if that shifts things back again.

I'm still amazed at the session and his ability to pinpoint the exact things that I needed.  It was exactly the session I was hoping it would be!  I'm looking forward to seeing the results and I'm looking forward to my appointment next month!

An anniversary weekend.

D and I treated ourselves to a night at the Grand Hotel for our anniversary this year, courtesy of a birthday gift from my parents.  Thanks Mum and Dad!  It was just awesome!

We had a wonderful time and, wouldn’t you know it, it was right on ovulation time!  Woohooo!!

We had heaps of fun with our camera!  Check out my 52 Projects post for this week for some of the results of our exposure photography.

The weekend turned out to be cold, wet and dreary.  So our plans of walking along the oceanside and down the main street were dashed.  Instead we played with the camera doing really silly shots as well as the exposure photography.   But for this post, I just put up a nice photo of us in our room!


D LOVED the showerhead in the bathroom.  He just HAD to take a photograph of it and plans to install the exact same one in our shower at home!  Crazy man!

 

To ovulate or not to ovulate

I find it interesting that every time Queen Naturo has tested me for ovulation through E2 and P4, it has always indicated that it is unlikely that I’ve ovulated.  Yet, everytime I was test for ovulation at the fertility clinic, she always said that I was.

It could be co-incidence.  Maybe that’s the way it worked.  FC caught me on a ovulating cycle and QN didn’t.  It could also be that FC only ever tested for P4, while QN tested for that as well as E2 – and it is always my E2 levels that are too low for ovulation, the P4’s are ok, but not great because they are affected by the low E2.

Seeing I’m not pregnant, I think I lean towards QN’s analysis more!

Yet, perhaps it was a meant to be thing.  Perhaps my destiny is not to be pumped with artificial drugs but to conceive through natural treatments.  If that is the case, then I am really happy with that.

Perhaps also I am reading far too much into it.  Creating hypotheses where no theories are present!!  Who knows!  It is just all very interesting.  The whole natural medicine versus standard medicine.  Yet, my experiences have shown me that natural medicine is much more effective, more intuitive, more revealing and solves the problems rather than masks them symptoms.   Time and time again, this has been proven to me.

Natural medicine will always be my first port of call.   But when it comes down to it, if we have to go IVF, IUI etc we will, and if I ever got really sick, like cancer, then thank goodness for standard medicine!   I am grateful to have access to both!

 

Test Results

I’m really please with my test results today.  In all but one area, excellent improvements all around.  And the one area where there was no change, has given us a focus on what we need to work on.  I feel really encouraged by this!  I’m glad that so much has improved.  And I’m glad to know where the problem is and that there are solutions.

My homocysteine levels have improved dramatically!  They are now the best results she has ever seen.  If your homocysteine levels are too high there is a risk of miscarriage and down syndrome, so it was very important to get these levels down!  Queen Naturo would have been happy if these levels had dropped to around 7.  But mine are at a specy 5.5 (range 5.0 – 15.0)!

My testosterone levels have also improved, going from 156 pmol/L down to 121 (range 24-137).  She is happy with this!

My progesterone levels were okay, she said and did increase in the second test 2 days later.  A good sign!  But they need to be better and will be, once my oestradiol (oestrogen) levels are fixed.  This is where the problems lays.  Progesterone levels will improve once my oestradiol improves, so Queen Naturo is now no longer worried about the P4.

My E2 levels were the same as they were 9 months ago – at 2 pmol/L.  (Range – 6-14).  They are way too low which indicate that, at least for last month, I didn’t ovulate.  Oestrogen is what drives the release of the egg.  Without it, no ovulation.

I am actually really happy with this.  I was worried that the results would be fine and it would all be a big mystery, just as it was at the fertility clinic.  But instead, we have some focus.  We have an area that isn’t working and we have treatments to get it working!

I started taking progesterone tablets just a couple of weeks ago.  These will help me hold a conception.
And now I will begin taking tablets to help increase the E2 levels and encourage ovulation.

The two together should do the trick!  Fingers crossed!



On another medical note, my arthritis has flared up hugely this week.  Worse ever.  Both King Acupunc and Queen Naturo believe the weather is a large factor.  It has turned cold and wet here this week.  She has recommended some new tabs for me to take.  However, I haven’t been able to find them in store.  They are a new release to the over the counter market. One chemist, though, was able to give me the name and number of the agent that supplies them.  So, a phone call to her will in order tomorrow.  In the meantime, I have some cream – Traumeel – to rub into the joints.

I’m feeling so much more positive and hopeful now than I was yesterday!

Homocysteine – 5.5 umol/L (range 5.0 – 15.0)

Oestradiol (E2) - 2 pmol/L.  (Range – 6-14)
Progesterone (P4) – 306 pmol/L increasing to 407 2 days later (Range 140-520)
Testosterone – 121 pmol/L (range 24-137)

The rest of the results

The rest of my test results arrived from the fertility clinic.  Well, almost the rest.  Missing, were the results of my pelvic scan.  But I think I will let that go.  The most important ones to come in were my progesterone tests and D’s sperm analysis.

And now I am smiling big!  Because I was right about the progesterone tests.  The two that were missing DID show I was ovulating!!  Woohooo!!  A 43 on Day 23 and a 40 on Day 26!!  Yea!

I went prancing around the house dancing and laughing - “My ovaries are working, little eggs are coming down!”.  D just watched me and laughed at my silliness!!  :)

It was such a relief after being so worried for so many months about whether I was ovulating or not!!  Big smiles all around.

I am yet to research up on D’s results but will at some stage just for my own understanding of it all.  However, upon mentioning the morphology to King Acupunc, he said “no worries, I have just the thing!”.  Well, of course he does.  They both always have a herbal solution to every problem.  We have seen the results of it time and time again!  Ya just gotta love natural medicine!  Brilliant!

There was one little hiccup with things yesterday.

My mum came around to spend some time together and help out with a few things.  She brought the mail in.  Yes, the fertility clinic letter!  Woopsiee.  It didn’t say fertility clinic, just the hospital and O and G department.  I mean I could be G’ing, but not O’ing!! 

I wasn’t sure if she saw it, because it was mixed up with the junk mail.  But later she was sitting down quietly and gently asked me why I had given up alcohol.  Keep in mind, I gave up about 9 months ago, and up until now, she has been perfectly happy with the fact that it was just to cut back!

In a matter of a split second, I debated telling her or not.  But I really don’t want to yet.  So, I came out with “I haven’t given up completely”.  And left it at that.  Which is true, because every time I get a period, I still enjoy a glass or two of my favourite red wine.  I didn’t actually answer her question.  Later, on our way back from Curves, she mentioned my niece and her fiance discussing having children and I wondered again, if she had seen anything.

I think she is a bit confused about us.  I think she is very disappointed that we are not rushing on into our engagement party and wedding.  I wonder if I should sit her down and talk to her about what we are doing.  D has suggested that it may be a good idea.  I don’t know. 

I still don’t want the questions every time I see her – are we pregnant yet, how is it going.  I don’t know how she would feel about us trying to have a baby before we are married.  Mostly, I just want to be able to turn up and tell them both that we are pregnant.  That’s the dream I have in my head.

I guess I will just have to think on it some more.

A new beginning

I don’t know what it is about today, but it feels like the start of a new day!  I feel good, I feel at ease and I’ve put my first smiley face on the calendar.  Thanks Anita!

I feel unconcerned about the usual problems that hammer away at my head and soul.  They feel inconsequential.  I feel light.

So why I am writing about this in my conception blog?  It seems more appropriate to be writing it in my creating peaceful thoughts blog.

Because I think it is all because of my large progesterone number.  I think that seeing actual prove of my P4 going from 2.2 to 45 in just 6 days, gave me confidence and belief in the fact that I am ovulating.

The night before, I was going through all the tests results from the fertility clinic and saying to D that it didn’t make any sense.  There was nothing in there to indicate ovulation.  I had one P4 that was at 26, but that is just scraping in at the barrel.  I was annoyed, I was angry at the OB diagnosis that I was ovulating.  “Where is the indication of it?” I was saying. 

I looked back over my posts to match up dates with what I written about the appointments.  After my first appointment, she had me take 3 P4 tests at two day intervals.  It was from these that she first said I was ovulating.  There was only one result from those tests in the file and it was only a 13.  What was going on?

I realised that this one was probably the last of the 3 tests and perhaps the others were of a higher level.  “I must get the other results to see”  I thought.  “Surely they will make sense of this.”

I was disappointed with my OB.  She had done nothing for us, no help, no meds, nothing.  I was very grateful for the results of my HSG scan and D’s sperm analysis. I was very grateful at how completely willing she was, with no hesitation, giving me copies of all the results.  I didn’t even have to sign anything.  That was terrific.  I was also very grateful for the clear and more in depth explanations she gave us of her findings.  But no assistance.

Yet, on second thinking, it is probably a good thing.  The drugs that I would have been pumped with would have caused so many side affects and go so against our belief in staying away from artificial things.  We may yet have to go down that path, but for now I am happy to be still be trying naturally.  Especially now that we now know we are basically ok.

On insisting I have a second P4 test on Tuesday, so past the usual date for doing these things, our OB resurrected herself in my eyes!  Such wonderful instincts!  For that, I am SO SO SO SO SO SO grateful.  Ecstatic!!  Thank you, thank you!

Because now, as a result, I feel terrific.  I feel renewed.  I feel happy.  I feel clean.  I feel light.  I feel bright eyed.  I feel more confident.  Within my underlying self, I feel better than I have in many months!  Thank you 45.  My new favourite number!  Thank you OB and the fertility clinic.

Yeeaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Do you think something good has happened???!!  Yea, you maybe right!  :) 

I rang up the clinic today for the results of the Day 29 progesterone test I did yesterday.  The OB’s instincts were right!  This is going to be a longer cycle.   I have ovulated sometime over the last week.  The result was 45!  Biggest number I have ever had!  Last week on my Day 23 test, it was only 2.2.

As we thought we were past the ovulation phase and that my period was due on the weekend, we haven’t been tracking our bedroom activity.  So, I quickly thought back over the last week.  Gosh, I can’t remember.  I’ve just been enjoying, not tracking!!  LOL.  (oh, and if our child-to-be is reading this years from now and going “ooo yuck, Mum!”, just remember that you wouldn’t have got here without your Dad and I having a great time and loving each other!  It’s a happy, celebratory thing!)

I think we should be good.  D certainly thinks so!  Sooooo, we are back to the two week wait all over again!

I’m a little concerned that my cycle has suddenly become long again.  Perhaps it has something to do with the HSG scan.  I don’t know.  It certainly is possible.  That kind of treatment has to have an affect somehow.  But I am excited at such a high progesterone level!  Woohooo!

Whatever the reason, the missing test results are going to mailed to us, I have made an appointment with Queen Naturo and will get all sorted out once again.  QN is just so good though, that it was 4 weeks before I could get in!  Usually it is about two weeks, she is just super busy right now!  However, I am on the cancellation list and I know that she will call me if she can get me in earlier.  I don’t feel there is any hurry.  I’m feeling pretty good about things right now.

I found some interesting (at least to me!) info on progesterone and it’s role in the fertility cycle.  I’m going post on that tomorrow.


Photo:  I just can’t seem to resist putting up photos of our engagement day.  I will run out pretty soon, don’t worry!  :)  I’m just feeling so happy right now about us (A big smiley face, Anita!!)  and this photo really reflects that.  Shame about the sunnies, but a nice, happy photo just the same!

Today’s Results!

I’m back from the fertility clinic.  D was able to come which was great.  I really wasn’t expecting him to be able to make it.  It is vintage here in the Australian wine industry so it can get busy and demanding for him.  I’m grateful that today was a light day.

The doctor was a lot more explanatory about things this appointment and talked about previous results with more detail than before.  It could have been because it was like an overall summary of everything that can and has been done before the IVF decision is needed.  Or it could have been because she had a medical student sitting in on the appointment.  If this was the case then I am very grateful!  It meant we got a clearer picture on things than we have in the past.

HSG SCAN

The HSG scan showed that my tubes are all clear – no blockages!  Good news.  The pain that I had was probably from muscle spasms.  The results said that my “…tubes were slow to opacify [which can be caused by spasming, so that makes sense] but with time, contrast was seen to enter the peritoneal cavity via both tubes...”  Contrast being the iodine and opacifying meaning that the tubes and uterine cavity looked white on the image from the flow of the dye.  In summary, both tubes were clear and the dye spilled right on through!

I asked her if the scan showed anything else and she said no.  Some research I came across said that scan can be used to show fibroids and endometriosis.  I did ask if it showed cysts or anything else and she simply referred back to my pelvic scan.

 

SPERM ANALYSIS

When she first got the results of D’s sperm analysis, she simply told me everything was fine.  Today, however, was more detailed.  Whether the fact that D was there this time made a difference as well, I don’t know.  However, she said that his sperm count and motility was good, but his morphology (sperm shape) was lower than average at 25% instead of the average 30%.  While she said that this is fine under normal circumstance, it could make a difference if we choose to do IVF.   

Her concern in regards to this, was combining it with the fact that I’m over 40.  Sigh.

PELVIC SCAN

She also gave me more information in regard to my pelvic scan from several months ago.  There was a follicle that shouldn’t have been there at that stage in my cycle.  She was unsure what it was about but believes that now that my cycle seems to have settled down and regulated a lot more, it is something we no longer need to worry about.

Of course, what was never mentioned was why my cycle has settled down over the last 6 months.  She is not even questioning it or wondering, which considering she hasn’t given me any medication, you would think she would be wanting to know why.  I wonder if in her head, she is even thinking about the fact that I am seeing Queen Naturo and it is her treatment that is working!!

 

OVULATION

My progesterone test from this cycle only 2.2, indicating that I haven’t ovulated this cycle.  This is a figure more likely seen in the follicular phase of the cycle, so she got me to take another P4 blood test for today.  She wants to determine whether I haven’t ovulated or whether I have ovulated late and may just end up having a long cycle this time around.

I’m due for my period on the weekend, so the results of the test will let us know what to do if my period hasn’t come by Monday.  Ovulated – wait another week to see.  Not ovulated – wait another week to see.  Oh yea, the same action either way!!  :)

All in all, she believes that I am ovulating enough to not warrant taking clomid - that it is normal for a woman my age to not ovulate every cycle.  She believes that the affects of clomid could actually disadvantage us at this stage.  I can’t remember everything she said, but something to do with clomid possibly causing problems with implantation.

NOW WHAT?

This clinic doesn’t do IUI, so if we wanted to go down that path, we would have to go somewhere else.  She has given us information about IVF and sent us off to read it over and discuss what we want to do.

However, we are already decided.  We are going to continue with the natural path for the rest of the year.  Queen Naturo is ready to do the saliva tests again to see how much improvement there has been since she started treating me and to see where to go next with natural therapy.  I have a copy of most of the results from the clinic which I will take to QN for her to look at.

We both believe that by following this path, we will conceive.  So much has improved over the last few months with my statistics.  If by the end of the year we aren’t pregnant, we will look at it again.  Also by then, our years waiting period with our health fund will be over and we will be able to go into the private stream, with our choice of doctors and clinics.  And that’

s really important to us as well.

We know we don’t have a lot of time on our hands and the doctor was most encouraging that we start sooner than later.   But I really don’t want to go down the IVF path.  We truly believe in natural therapy and the 100% success rate from the natural therapy clinic.

CONCLUSION

We have achieved what we set out to do by going to the fertility clinic.  We know that we are basically okay and fertile.  There are no blockages, no abnormalities.  There is some concern over the regularity of my ovulation but she believes that I am ovulating.  D’s sperm morphology is slightly lower than the norm but also fine.  We are functioning!

Now we do all that we can in the natural medicine realm for the next few months. 

 

Finally.

I have been trying to write a post all week.  I make a start and then have to do something else.  It just hasn’t happened.

This week has been super super busy.  We had a visiting artist from overseas giving masterclasses and a recital.  Every night after work I have travelled into the city.  I’m a little tired!

But now it is Friday night, D is away for work and I have the house to myself.

So to catch up…

As you know, I haven’t been tracking this cycle.  I was/am just over the whole tracking ovulation thing and just wanted to chill out this time around.  The timing was perfect as it turned out.  I had my HSG Scan, we got engaged and I started work again.  There just hasn’t been time!

Yet, after I hit the time after ovulation, I suddenly found myself in the two week wait.  “Will I be pregnant?  I have to wait two weeks to find out?  It’s such a long time.”

I was so surprised to enter this phase! I didn’t expect it. It only lasted for a few days though and now I am back to the normal ‘go with the flow’ me.  In fact, after today’s acupuncture appointment, I think it would be a good idea to have a menstrual cycle – post HSG scan.

King Acupunc warned me that the period after an HSG scan may be heavier and different to usual.  If there has been anything flushed out of my tubes, it will make it’s way out during this time.  Not a nice thought! 

Has anyone had any experience with this?

What is a nice thought, is to have a completely cleansed uterus.  So, it would be a blessing to go through another cycle in order to achieve this. 

I’m Day 25 now, so going on a 31-33 Day cycle, it’s still a week to go before we find out whether we are happily and wondrously pregnant or thoroughly cleansed!

Sunday update

Today I am feeling a bit tired of the whole ovulation tracking thing!  I am thinking of giving it a rest for a while and just going with the flow.  With all the different methods we have done, we still don’t really know when I ovulate.  We have a pretty good idea but nothing concrete.  So, as long as we stay aware of a rough area of time within my cycle, that is good enough for now!

Of course, next cycle I may feel refreshed and want to start trying to track it again but for right now, I need a break!

I’m still taking all my tabs and going for the tests.  Still going to the acupuncturist and doing mostly (!) all the right things.

Last night was the biggest challenge of all in regards to no alcohol.  We went out to a friends for a bbq.  All good.  I brought my de-alcoholised wine and drank that along with water.  No problems!

But then…

… out came the 22 year old Port that we had given this friend a year ago.  Oh no!  It smelt divine.  I could imagine it’s delicious flavour swirling around in my mouth.  I smelt it from D’s glass and want to curl up in ecstasy!! 

It was the ONLY time not drinking alcohol has been really really really mean!!!!!  :) :)

So, we made a deal that should I get another period, I will treat myself to some of this beautiful port!  mmmmmmmm…

I’m enjoying the lots of vegies aspect to the fertility diet from You Can Pregnant  Over 40, Naturally.  My favourite snack is now celery with almond spread.  The idea comes from my naturopath and works perfectly with Sandy’s advice on nutrition.

Ovulation Testing

 

 

 

 

This week I have added measuring my basal body temperature to the morning routine.

We have been using Maybe Baby for the last few months to help us determine ovulation time.  It seemed like the best way to do it – through saliva testing.  Maybe Baby tells you exactly when you are ovulating through examining saliva in a mini microscope.  Whereas with basal testing, the indications of ovulation, through the changes in ones basal body temperature, occur AFTER ovulation.

So we went with Maybe Baby as a more reliable method.  However, it just doesn’t seem to be working for me.  According to the GYN, I am ovulating now.  But Maybe Baby is not telling us that.  We get vague signs of it from time to time but nothing concrete.

So, I went and bought a basal thermometer.  So far, so good.  It’s only been a week and it will take 3 months to really track my temperature changes.  But using it in conjunction with Maybe Baby is proving to be a positive thing.

The only other option is urine testing.  But the tests are SO expensive and you get maybe 7 tests in a kit.  So you have to already be very sure on when ovulation may be occurring and then hope that you got it right.  It may be a more accurate method in the actual testing for ovulation, but definitely not for the timing of when to take the tests – not to mention the extreme cost!

Of course, blood tests are the best way to see if you have ovulated.  Not helpful for the timing of creating life, but reassuring to know afterwards that you have ovulated!  My blood tests take place on Day 23 of each cycle, which will be next week.  With the hoohaa of Christmas and New Year I missed doing it all last cycle, so I will have to postpone my fertility clinic appointment for a month.  Unless of course, we get pregnant this cycle.  Then I won’t have to go have the next ultrasound of injecting dye into my womb to look at my fallopion tubes.  Wouldn’t that be good!!!!  :):)

 

I feel more positive about ovulating this month.  Signs that I recognise as ovulation in my body have been occurring.  I haven’t had these for several months now, so positivity and hopefulness is increasing.

Is that a good thing?  I don’t know.  I was so upset last month.  But I just can’t help being positive and hopeful.  It’s in my nature.  It’s like not jumping into love, cause you are afraid you will get hurt.  You just do it!!  And this is the same.  I can’t stop being excited about the possibility of becoming pregnant just because it might not happen!  In with both feet!!!

Fertility Clinic results

I had my second appointment with the GYN this week.   The results are all good. 

• All my hormones were where they should be,
• D’s results were good,
• I have a high egg count for my age,
• my scan was mostly good with some strange follicle/cyst behaviour that doesn’t concern her,
• she says that I am ovulating.

Still no pregnancy!

My naturopath and acupuncturist are really pleased.  They believe that all that we have been doing for the last 5 months is working.  And I do too!  They believe that I have had/still have PCOS, but that the herbs and acupuncture are doing their job and the cysts are gradually staying away.  Queen Naturo also reminded me that a few months ago, my bloods showed that I wasn’t ovulating, so progress is being made!

At this stage, the GYN has no answer, but she does have action.  Over the next two months, I undergo:

• a blood test each cycle to continue to monitor my ovulation.  She wants to look at whether I am regularly ovulating or not. 
  However she did say something really interesting about this.  That the fact that my cycles have regulated over the last few months, is a good sign that I am ovulating.  She said that regular cycles mean regular ovulation!  Once again, thanks to Queen Naturo and King Acupunt.  Because before them, my cycles were all over the place.  Probably why I still have lots of eggs left!!
• And she has also scheduled me in for a HSG scan to look at my tubes.  Once again, it doesn’t sound like a pleasant experience!  But I am grateful to be able to find out whether my tubes are healthy or blocked in any way.

After that, if things are still looking good, then it becomes a diagnosis of unexplained infertility.  From there, we can choose to either continue to try on our own, or take the IVF path. 

If we are very fortunate, a pregnancy will ensue before that time comes!  However, we both agree that in two months, if we still aren’t pregnant, we will continue to work with the naturopath for a little while longer.  You gotta have faith in their 100% strike rate!

I am very grateful to know though, that the GYN will be happy to proceed with IVF.  Issues of my weight did come up, along with the complications it can cause, but it is not enough to not proceed with IVF.  She has simply encouraged me to continue to work on that area.  Like I haven’t been working on that issue every day of my life!

She was really good in this consultation.  You may remember I was unhappy with our last appointment, but it was really good this time.  She was very support and compassionate, gentle and reassuring with all the results.   And only 30 minutes late instead of 90!!  :)

So, I’ve come away reassured by all the test results.

• I believe that, while there are still some cysts I am recovering from PCOS!
• I am not yet convinced on the ovulation thing.  Maybe Baby is still showing nothing and I am not feeling anything myself either.  It is possible though, that Maybe Baby is just not working for me.  And their website also states that it isn’t right for everyone. 
  I am looking forward to finding out the results of continuing ovulation testing and of course, seeing whether or not, I begin a new cycle!

A surprise in the microscope

Yesterday morning I leaned over to do the daily saliva test.  10 minutes later, I am handing the mini microscope over to D in total surprise.  The reading was positive!  I was ovulating!  It had been five days since that first sign of ovulation with nothing since then.  There was joy and confusion from both of us!

This morning – once again, nothing on the test.  It is just so strange.

What normally happens with Maybe Baby is that you have two or three days of pre-ovulation readings, 1-2 days full ovulation readings and 2-3 days post-ovulation readings.  So this is all very strange.

Nevertheless, the two week wait now will test my patience.  While it is all a bit strange, yesterdays random reading puts the thought in our heads that it might just be possible this cycle for us to have conceived!  Maybe…  Maybe Baby!  :):)

While there is that joy of hopefulness, I am mostly  feeling disillusioned with it all at the moment.  I do acknowledge that other factors in my life are contributing to this feeling.  One of them is not feeling well at the moment, and another is a colleague announcing her pregnancy at our meeting last night.  Wonderful news for her!  :)  I just wish I was there as well.

The arthritis is giving me grief and I can feel it in my knuckles and ankles as well.  It’s as though, my body is saying “Now that I am diagnosed, feel it in all its glory!”

So, I need to work at riding through these feelings and overcoming the factors that are contributing to them.  I’ve got some work to do this morning, that will feel good to have completed and I have some difficult things to achieve at school that will hopefully, in time, begin to lift my spirits as well.

I put out to the Universe - positivity, hopefulness, patience, good health, perseverance and our dreams of a different life.

… ah, the Universe is surprising.  After writing that last sentence I did a google image search for happiness.  It gave me this photo from… wait for it… an arthritis website!  Perhaps it is time to researching this as well – with joy that I finally have a diagnosis.

The Fertility Clinic

Wow, time is flying past me so quickly at the moment. The end of the school year is always a hectic time, but the Summer Holidays are almost here. Four weeks to go and then a seemingly endless 7 weeks break!

It was about three weeks ago when we went to our first fertility clinic appointment. I came away happy and disappointed all at the same time.

We waited an hour and a half past our appointment time before we finally got in to see her. 10 minutes later we were out of her room and passed on to someone else. We were told the appointment would be an hour, and I was expecting so much more. There were a few questions, a background history and then signing off on lots of tests. Blood tests, sperm tests, and an ultra sound.

After we had been passed on, another lady did our height and weight, organised the tests, told us where to go and then we were done. What the...?

There were two things the GYN said that upset me. She had a complete dismissal of all the naturopathic tests I had done and anything related to natural medicine. And she said that my weight was a problem in retaining a pregnancy. I understand now though that she was simply covering all bases. Anything that could a problem is looked at and tried to overcome. But in the short term time after the appointment, I was really upset. My doctor, naturopath and accupunturist all assured me this wasn't a problem, yet here is the GYN blunty saying it is.

However, the she covered all that I had questions about and all that I wanted to have done. She had a suspicion of PCOS before I even mentioned it and I was grateful when she signed off on the ultra sound tests.

I have had 3 progesterone tests at two day intervals in the second half of my cycle. And on day 3, I go in for my ultra sound. Then I see her again with all the results. Unfortunately, we were in Sydney for my last Day 3, so we have to wait till my next cycle to do this.

The lastest news is that this cycle we were excited to have some sign of ovulation from the Maybe Baby and my breasts became quite sore - a sign of ovulation. However, the Maybe Baby only had one day of positivity, not the 5 or 6 days it should have. After having some sign and then nothing the day after, we were so disappointed.

I saw the doctor this morning and she said that sore breasts are a sign of an increase in progesterone. And it is likely that my progesterone increased but not quite enough to produce an egg.

So, we are not there yet this cycle, but we have had our first sign of ovulation in 4 months, so it is a step closer!!

On another medical note, the reason for my doctors appointment today was to get the results of the x-rays on my knee. I finally have a diagnosis for the knee pain that I have had for over 12 years. Arthritis! Can you believe that?! I developed arthritis in my knees in my 20's. Ah the joys of netball. I played the game from the time I could hold a ball and now I have the knees to proof it!

I am grateful to have the diagnosis and now have some medication to help. I wonder how this will be affected during my pregnancy??!

Back on board and a trip away!

I can’t believe it’s been so long since my last post.  The last couple of weeks have just been insanely busy getting ready for our trip away.  We leave tomorrow! 

This trip is occurring in Week 4 of Term 4.  One of the busiest times in the school year.  I’ve had to work my butt off around the clock to get all the work done so that I can go away for a week at this unheard of time.  Probably the first teacher ever to have a holiday in Term 4.  Insane!! 

Not only that, but my group was hired to play at two weddings this weekend.  Bad timing!  I have organised fill-ins of course, but am losing out on income myself.  One of them also was a time consuming one for preparations with four arrangements to write.  It has taken me many evenings to get that done in time!

But nevermind, it is all for a good cause!!  One that I am really looking forward to.  D’s friend is getting married next weekend.  We are driving over and it will probably take about 17 hours to get there.  We are staying overnight at some of his relatives, which will be the first time I have met them! 

He is getting married in THE cathedral in Sydney, the biggest and the best!  I have seen it from the outside but have never gone in.  I can’t wait!!  I have been out shopping the last couple of days and bought a new dress for the occasion as well as some other new clothes   for the days. 

Essentially this trip has motivated me to do my summer wardrobe shopping and I am pretty much set for the season now.  Not only that, but I got all the sales!  I did really well with everything!!

There is a bit of catching up to do on our pregnancy journey.  A first trip to the fertility clinic!  Which I will write all about in my next post. 

And the other news, is that I still haven’t ovulated.  But the new cycle has begun again and once again, I am hopeful and excited that this month will be the one!  At least for an ovulation if not a conception.  That would be wonderful progress!!

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

Last week I received the news from both my naturopath and acupunturist, that they believe that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. While I have not been medically tested for it through an ultra sound, all my symptoms point to this syndrome.

Obviously, I will get tested for it when I go to the fertility clinic (more on this in a post coming up soon), but the problem with the cysts is that they can come and go and therefore cannot always be seen on an ultra sound. Both doctors and naturopaths acknowledge that is a very difficult syndrome to conclusively diagnose.

Some of the symptoms for this hormone disorder are:

• Irregular menstrual cycles - menstruation may be less frequent due to less frequent ovulation, and may be either heavier or lighter than average.
• Amenorrhoea - some women with PCOS do not menstruate, in some cases for many years.
• Obesity - the cause of this is unclear.
• Excessive hair growth and/or facial hair - may be due to increased testosterone.
• Acne - the cause is unclear.
• Infertility - related to less frequent or absent ovulation.
• Sugar cravings
• Increased LH, lower FSH levels, progesterone is low, testosterone is high.

I have 6 of these symptoms, including the test results. And the three main ones for their diagnosis are the fact that I haven't ovulated for the last 2 months, irregular periods and my higher levels of testosterone along with my other hormone test results. While the lack of ovulation could be my age, when combined with other symptoms they are fairly certain of this diagnosis.

So, treatment has begun to help. Whether I truly have this syndrome doesn't matter in regards to treatment, because what I am being given is all good for helping us to conceive anyway.

One important thing for me to do is cut out sugars. Just like with candida, sugars and high GI foods feed the cysts. Normalizing insulin and blood sugar levels is an essential part of treatment and assists in stimulating ovulation.
I have also started to wonder if it is sugar that is giving me these headaches. I'm not sure yet, but I began to wonder about the link a couple of days ago and am keeping a close eye on it now. Any just maybe, with the cysts and my hormones being treated, any sugar is just freaking out my system.

Several supplements are essential to reduce excess androgens, improve insulin function and hormonal regulation by the ovaries. B vitamins, zinc, magnesium, chromium, Omega 3 oils, Dong Quai. Most of these I have been taking for some time now - especially B vits and Omega 3 oils.

In doing more research on this, I discovered the following definition...

Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), also known as Stein-Leventhal syndrome is a condition characterized by an imbalance of hormones in women which can affect menstrual periods and ovulation. Women are often very embarrassed and upset by some of the symptoms associated with this condition such as excessive hair
growth, acne, obesity and the growth of small cysts on the ovaries. It is also one of the leading causes of infertility. Because of these distressing symptoms, women may also experience feelings of depression and anxiety.

It makes me wonder how long I have had this condition for. Irregular periods and weight control have been the bane of my life for a long time. And plucking hairs out of my chin and neck began many years ago. Nothing extreme, just a few here and there, but it makes me wonder...