Sick = no conception

D took me to the doctor yesterday.  Turns out I have a bronchial infection, not just a mere cold.  No wonder I have been getting worse instead of better.   But I'm on antibiotics now, so things will start improving.

The disadvantage of course, is that it is highly unlikely that we will conceive this month.  Queen Naturo told us right at the beginning that if I'm sick then the body, in it's fight to clear itself of bad things, will reject any conception as a foreign body.  The doctor also told us the same thing yesterday.

So, this month will be another wipeout.

The positive aspect of this though, is that I will be able to have champagne at our engagement party in two weeks time!!  Woohoo!

We did talk to the doctor again about the fact that we still aren't pregnant and I was surprised to discover that my fertility doctor had sent her a letter with a report on us.  It was interesting to read.  It didn't say anything I didn't already know but it was interesting to read her summary.

I was frustrated to read that she said she had recommended IUI as well as IVF.  She might have recommended it, but she certainly didn't offer it because she told me that her clinic does not do IUI.  I remember this clearly because I wanted to go down that path first before IVF and might even have been willing to give it a go right there and then.  Except they didn't offer it!  I was annoyed by that.  But nevermind, I would rather go with a different clinic and OB anyway.

Our health care waiting period runs out in 2 months.  Then if we still aren't pregnant we can go down that path.  The doctor recommended that we start looking around for a good OB now.  I think she was pleased that will be going down the private path instead of the public system.  While she didn't say it, obviously, I got the feeling she thinks that is a better way to go.

So, it will be on to our friend who is a nurse in the private hospital to ask around and find out who will be the best OB for us to get.  She then might be able to ensure that we can get in with him/her.

And we continue moving forward...

Urine testing

We have had a bit of hiccup this cycle with me being sick right in the middle of my fertile period.  Rather annoying being sick at the best of times, let alone right now!

I've been monitoring my basal temperature for the last couple of weeks.  At this stage there is no indication that I have ovulated yet.  And I am now on Day 18.

D came home this morning from getting me some cold remedies and was very excited.  He found a urine ovulation testing kit for $20 and is excited to give it a go.  I've looked at urine testing before and kept away from it for two reasons - each kit only has 5 tests and with my irregular cycles that it makes it really hard to know when to be testing - and they always cost around $70 for each month.  Far too expensive when the 'when' to test is too unknown.

Yet, here is one for twenty bucks.  And it came with a pregnancy test as well.  We are going to use this one, in conjunction with the basal testing and see if we can get a better idea on my ovulation.  it was so nice to see D so excited about it!

We did the first test before he went to work and it came up negative.  So we will continue for the next 4 days and see what happens both with the urine and the basal.  Should be interesting!

Making room for bubs (and updating!)

 

Hi all!  Sorry I haven't been around much or kept up blogging - both posting and commenting.  There just doesn't seemed to have been time in my head for it!  But I have really appreciated the comments I have received and have enjoyed quick catch ups on your blogs to see how things are going for you.

One of the reasons that there has been no time, is that we have been tackling some major projects around the home - clutter clearing, organising, building, gardening - all outdoor projects which is an area we haven't tackled since D moved in.  See my other blog - Creating Peaceful Thoughts- for all the details!

The clutter clearing and building in particular, held a lot of significance for me in regards to our conception journey, because I saw it as clearing away lots of rubbish in order to make room for bringing a new life into our home and lives.  And the building of a work area in the carport was like adding a new room to our home and saw us becoming more efficient both inside and outside the home with more clutter clearing, organising and creating of space.

The process is continuing with much more still to do.  And each step forward always signifies to me, more space in our lives for bubs to come in.

That was one of the really positive things that has happened and is still happening!

This, plus so many other little signs last cycle though, made me really hopeful about a positive result.  I was sure that we were finally going to conceive.  So, when my new cycle began, I was so upset.  It was the first time I have really truly cried over a new cycle.  And it occurred just as we were about to go away for the weekend and with visitors!  Oh dear.  Somehow, with D's help and support, I managed to get through that little episode secretly with our visitors none the wiser, and a wonderful weekend away!

However, the positive thing in this new cycle is that the length was back down to 30 days.  I haven't had a 30 day cycle since before we started trying a year and a half ago.  It always takes around 3 months for new naturopathic meds to really kick into the system and it has now been that long since Queen Naturo put me on new hormones. 

I truly believe that my system is balanced so much better and more ready to conceive - a 30 day cycle is awesome for me.  A few weeks ago I was all ready to go see my other naturopath for a second opinion (who I haven't seen at all since the journey began), but this has brought my belief back again to the awesome duo that I have my faith in.

It also means that I once again, have such hopes for this cycle.  A blessing and a curse all at once!!

More updates:

**  King Acupunc has become more gungho about getting us pregnant after going to yet another fertility workshop.  He came away equipped with more ideas, more specific points to needle me, and with lots of charts for me to fill in!  I appreciate this passion he has to ensure results and hope it works!

**  Mr. Ayuveda is continuing to help me, this time working with my own feelings and instincts on what is going on for me.  Every now and then I turn up at his door with such a clear image on what is wrong and when it is that strong he is able to get a clearer picture himself on what is needed.

This week was all about helping my soul to find my body.  I have been feeling so strongly that I am living outside of my body, up in my head.  And I think it has been this way for a long time, which is a big reason for my struggles with weight and food addiction.  Before I saw him, I managed for split seconds every now and then to be able to become grounded in myself.  And every time I did, for that split second, the food cravings would disappear completely.

Now, after his session, I am able to ground myself and feel centered for longer periods, which is really helping with healthy eating and feeling more peaceful.  Which in turn, will help us conceive, I'm sure!

The wait is over

Well, the two week wait is over and the test was negative.  Four days later my new cycle started.  I couldn't wait for it to begin, so I could enjoy a glass of wine!  I still wasn't going to drink just in case the test was wrong.  But Wednesday came and Wednesday night the sound of a bottle cracking open was enjoyed by my ears for the first time in over a month!

I was feeling hopeful about this cycle for a few days.  I went to my weekly acupuncture appointment and when he felt my pulse he said there was something different about it.  Apparently, a pre-menstrual pulse feels different to a conceived pulse, and mine felt different than usual to him.  He wasn't committing to anything of course, but he told me to wait a couple of days and then do a test.  Which is what I did.  Lucky he didn't commit to anything!!

 

 

On Wednesday, I also had my appointment with my ayuvedic masseuse.  It was another good appointment.  A lot of what he did last time had held in my body and he was really pleased especially to see that my hips had stayed open and I was laying flat on the table, not slightly out of alignment.  This is an important one for fertility so I was really pleased to have maintained that. 

My energy had also stayed in alignment and my balance was good.  As a result, he was able to look further into my body.  According to him, my uterus was inflamed so he  worked on that.  I did ask him how much that could be because I was on Day 1.  And while that does affect it, it was not the sole reason.

He doesn't think I am far off being able to conceive.  I see him again in a month.  Every little bit helps.  But I am hoping that his work with him will make a big difference.

I go for acupuncture again today plus a painful massage treatment!  I put my back out last week, so I made the appointment longer to get some treatment on it.  It feels almost better now so this last treatment should do the trick!

Of course I am disappointed to be starting another cycle but it just seems to be part of the course of life now and I'm moving on.  Had we conceived this time though, we would have been able to announce our pregnancy at our engagement party in 2 months time!  That would have been fun!  Nevermind.  On to the next!

Day 20 and the 2-3WW

 

 

 

 

It's Day 20 and the 2-3WW has begun yet again.  Here we go!!

Ayuveda

One week ago I went to see my ayuveda masseur.  The man is a god-send! 

I made the appointment a couple of months (he is hard to get into!) knowing that I needed an energy balancing.  Things weren't right and in the past he has been able to balance my energy beautifully.  

It was a great session.  Apparently my physical energy was going in a completely different direction to my spiritual energy.  No wonder I have felt so out of sorts and unbalanced.  The next day I was feeling much better -  more peaceful and centred and calmer.  And best of all, my addictive thinking had gone.  I can't even begin to describe how bad things have been in that regards over the last few months.  It's been out of control and making me utterly miserable for my complete lack of ability to do anything about it.  But two weeks ago I did.  I went to the one man who I know helps me.

He also worked on my fertility, clearing away a blockage and opening up hips.  Apparently my hips have been rolling inward which puts pressure on the ovaries.  He gave me an exercise to keep my hips open and rolled out to where they should be, which D has to help me with.

I see him again in a month to see how things are going.

The last week has been crazy with State Music Camp.  It's in the school holidays and involves me getting to work earlier, getting up earlier and driving further everyday.  That plus D also having an unusually busy week, we haven't done the exercise and I am starting to feel myself backsliding.  I've mentioned it to D and we are going to set up the massage table tonight so we can do it.  I'm looking forward to seeing if that shifts things back again.

I'm still amazed at the session and his ability to pinpoint the exact things that I needed.  It was exactly the session I was hoping it would be!  I'm looking forward to seeing the results and I'm looking forward to my appointment next month!

Getting away

My coincidence, or design (!), D and I are able to get away to our property in the country this weekend.  It's cold and wet, but we don't care.  We can't wait to get there and freeze our wet asses off!! 

We will freeze in the cold caravan but we don't care because we are going to curl up in bed together and watch a movie on D's tiny little E-Reader. 

We are going to be stomping around in the muddy ground, but we don't care because we have galoshes.

We are going to have to try to find wood in the dark when we arrive, but we don't care because we will use our new chainsaw.  And if we can't find dry wood, then we won't care because we will curl up in bed early and laugh and talk and have fun together.

It's cold and wet, but we don't care because it will probably mean we will be there by ourselves (without the other partners in the property being there with their 4 kids, 2 dogs, 6 quadbikes and sometimes grumpy demeanour).  It will just be the two of us in the peace and quiet surroundings of the middle of nowhere nature.

I can't wait.  I see this as being a good start back on the track of my life as I want it to be.  A good start out of the slump of not just this week, but the last two weeks.  A clean slate.  Fresh clean air to blow away the staleness and stagnant thoughts and to bring in calm, peaceful, positive new ones.  The true thoughts of my soul!

The two of us together in one of our favourite places in the world.  What bliss!